“I see.” Daffin stopped and shook his head.Enough.“Thank you for your time, your grace.”
He stalked from the room, bile rising in his throat. He hadn’t asked Regina for her hand first because he’d guessed how his meeting with the duke would go. Members of the aristocracy were happy to have his help when they needed him, but they wanted him to conveniently go away when he’d served his purpose.
Soft sobs coming from the salon across the foyer caught Daffin’s attention. The door was slightly ajar. He stuck in his head to see who was crying.
Regina sat on the settee in the center of the room, the front page of the morning paper spread across the table in front of her.
“Regina,” he breathed, entering the room and crossing over the expensive rug to sit next to her.
“Daffin,” she sobbed, pointing to the paper. “Is this true?”
God. It felt as if his heart were being ripped from his chest. “Yes,” he said. “It’s true. All of it. I’m a bastard, Regina.” He paused and drew a deep breath. “Why are you crying?” Was it because she’d spent the night with a bastard? He couldn’t bear it if she regretted being with him.
She swiped at her tears. “I’m crying because I’m sad for you, Daffin. I’m sad because your father was so awful and your mother made bad choices that you had to bear the brunt of your whole life.”
Daffin clenched his fists and looked away, some unnamed emotion tightening his throat. He’d been worried she wouldn’t accept him for who he truly was. But she was crying not out of shame, but sympathy. She loved him. She truly loved him. And he loved her too, which was why he would die before he would allowhisshame and scandal to ruin her. Regina didn’t deserve any of this. “Don’t cry, darling.” He cradled her head against his chest.
She allowed his comfort for a few moments before pulling away from him. “Why didn’t you tell me about your family? Why did I have to read about it in the paper?”
“I’m sorry.” He hung his head. “I was ashamed. My mother was a courtesan. I loved her, of course, but as an adult, when I investigated her murder, I came to understand what she had been.”
Regina nodded. “There’s something else I don’t understand. If your father wanted her dead, why didn’t he have her killed when she was pregnant?”
Daffin took a deep breath. “My father paid for her death, but he wasn’t the one who wanted her dead. His wife did. The Duchess of Portland couldn’t stand the fact that my mother and I lived so close. She saw us from time to time. It angered her. She ordered my father to get rid of both of us.”
Regina caught her breath. “No.”
Daffin nodded grimly. “He hired Knowles to do the job.”
“Yet he didn’t have you killed.”
“No.” Daffin clenched his jaw. His tone was harsh. “Instead, he sent me far away to school.” A humorless smiletwisted his lips. “I suppose he thought that was the least he could do. I’m certain you’ll understand why I fail to give him credit for his generosity.”
“Did the duchess know you were still alive?”
“I made certain she knew. After I became a Bow Street Runner, I went to visit her. We had a nice, long talk, the duchess and I. I’ll never forget the look on her face when I walked into the room. It was as if she’d seen a ghost. I told her I’d send her to gaol for my mother’s murder if she ever tried to harm anyone I loved again. The truth was, I didn’t have enough proof to send her away, but she didn’t know that. She believed me, and she steered clear of me until her death two years ago.”
“The current Duke of Portland is your younger brother?” Regina asked.
“Yes, but I doubt he even realized I existed until today. I’m certain my father and his wife wanted it that way.”
“I’m sorry, Daffin. So sorry.”
“I am too, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m who I am… the illegitimate son of a duke and a courtesan.”
“I don’t care if you’re a bastard, Daffin. I’ve never cared about your lineage.”
He pulled her into his arms and hugged her, knowing this was the last time he would ever be able to touch her. “Oh, Regina. You might not care today or tomorrow or even next week, but eventually, when your friends stop accepting you into their homes, when the life you’ve always known is ripped away from you, you would blame me. You’d have to. It would hurt you, and I would give up my own life before I would hurt you.” He pulled away from her and softly rubbed his knuckles along her cheek, giving himself a moment to memorize the fine details of her features before he stood to leave. “I’msorry, Regina.” It nearly crushed him, but he forced himself to turn and strode toward the door. With every step, he told himself not to look back. He didn’t want to remember her with tears streaming down her pretty face.
“Daffin, wait,” she called.
He paused at the door and bowed his head. “Regina. We cannot be together. You’re a lady and I’m a bastard. Marry someone of your class. You belong with them.”
There was a rustle of fabric, and then her soft voice at his ear. “But I don’t want them.” She had come to stand behind him.
“One day, you’ll realize this was for the best,” he murmured.
At the sound of her choked sob, he opened the door and stalked out, never looking back at the heartache he’d wrought, not even breathing until he’d reached the street outside. Only then did he allow himself to whisper the truth. “I’ll never forget you.”
