“I understand,” she said with a nod. Oh, why wouldn’t he give her a hint about how he felt? His face had returned to its previous unreadable state.
Daffin cocked his head to the side and traced a finger around the edge of his glass. “I heard what you said, but I confess that I abjectly fail to understand what that has to do withme.”
Pressing two fingers to her throat, Regina set the brandy glass back on the desk and met his gaze. Her heart felt as if it might escape via her throat. She needed to set this to rights. “When we met last summer, I felt we had a connection, and I think you did, too.”
He arched a brow. “That, my lady, is a dangerous statement, and I make a habit of not commenting on dangerous statements.”
She briefly closed her eyes. He wasnotmaking this easy for her. She blew out a tiny breath and bit the inside of her cheek, summoning every ounce of courage she possessed. Ever since her beloved cousin John died, she’d made it a priority to be courageous. Tried to, at least. Life was short, and one didn’t get what one wanted by being a timid mouse. “I would like it very much, Mr. Oakleaf, er, Daffin, if you were the man to… ahem… take my virginity.”
There. Now that the words were completely out in the open, they weren’t so bad, were they? Only they were. She could tell by the look on his face, the expression of surprise that spread quickly across his handsome features.
“You… what?” The desk chair squeaked beneath his weight as he eased forward, staring at her as if she’d lost her mind. He’d heard her. She could see it in his eyes.
More courage. She straightened her spine and resisted the urge to avert her gaze from his piercing appraisal. “I am a spinster, Mr. Oakleaf.” How utterly ridiculous was she for calling him “Mr. Oakleaf” when she’d just asked him to take her virginity? “I have been firmly and solidly ‘on the shelf’ as they say for quite some time, which has never bothered me. However, given recent events in my family, I would like to take a lover while I still have the choice to decide for myself whom I give myself to.”
“You wantmeto be your lover?” he asked.
“Yes, precisely.” She gulped, feeling as if she were standing in the middle of the park in only her shift, while a crowd gazed at her.
“Why me?”
“As I said, I thought we shared a connection, not to mention, Mark and Nicole think highly of you.”
His eyes remained narrowed. “What do you mean, ‘recent events in your family’?”
She winced. She’d been afraid he would ask that. She wasn’t certain she should admit this next part, but he would find out soon enough. The announcement would be printed in the papers after Christmastide, and Mark would no doubt mention it to him. She straightened her shoulders and met Daffin’s gaze. “I am soon to become engaged to the Earl of Dryden.”
“Engaged?” he echoed. Was it her imagination or had disappointment flashed across his face? “To Dryden?”
“Do you know him?” she asked, perching on the edge of the chair.
“No. I can’t say we’ve met, but I’ve heard of him.”
She blew out a breath. “Yes, well, my uncle is dying and he’s become preoccupied with ensuring that I’m settled before he goes. My grandmother is elderly. He’s worried about me. I understand, but—”
“But I take it from your proposal to me, that you’re not as enthusiastic about the good earl’s offer as your uncle is.”
Regina shook her head miserably. “Dryden offered for me years ago when I first made my debut. I turned him down. That was back when I had scores of offers, and Uncle Edward was convinced I’d choose another man. These days, however, Dryden is the only one who’s offered.”
“I see,” Daffin replied. “Been settled on you all these years, eh?”
Regina couldn’t help her unladylike eye roll. “He’s much more settled on the land he stands to gain as part of my dowry, but it seems he’s not one to give up easily. I’ve been putting him off for years, but Uncle Edward has finally told me to prepare myself to marry him.”
“What do Mark and Nicole think about that?”
“They want my happiness, of course, but they also understand why Uncle Edward worries about me. He comes from a different era, one in which marriages were made based entirely on family names and dowries.”
“And you don’t agree with that sort of an arrangement?” Daffin asked.
“There’s a reason I remained a spinster. I’ve yet to find the man I want to marry.”
Their gazes met and an undeniable spark leaped between them, but Regina glanced away. The talk of marriage was too much. How had they got into this? She’d come to offer him her virginity, not recite the reasons she was a spinster.
Daffin cleared his throat. “May I ask why you’re interested in, ahem, losing your virginity ahead of your marriage?”
Regina’s face heated. She’d been expecting this question, too, but that didn’t make it less awkward. “I don’t want to marry Dryden and I certainly don’t want to go to bed with him. But Uncle Edward is insistent. If I must marry the earl, I at least want to give my virginity to the man ofmychoice.” She glanced at him sheepishly. “And that man is you.”
Daffin rubbed the corners of his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. He blew out a deep breath. Tension was coiled in his shoulders. She could see it there, and it made her anxious, made her slipper tap more rapidly against the floor.
