“Oh, that was just pure desperation. Nicole can be convincing when she wants to be. I already know there’s no one in thetonI want to marry.”
“Dryden’s just as good as any other.”
“I suppose so.”
“Then why did you wait for love all these years?”
She sighed. “When I was a child, I asked my mother whom I should marry one day.”
“Did she give you a name?” he asked, suddenly a bit too interested to hear the answer. Perhaps Regina’s love had been unrequited. Perhaps there was a man she’d fancied who’d married someone else. The thought made him uneasy.
She stared unseeing out the window, obviously lost inmemory. “‘My girl,’ she said, ‘it’s quite simple. You must marry the man you cannot live without.’”
Daffin slowly expelled his breath. Nowthatwas some excellent advice about marriage. “And you’ve never found that man?”
“Not yet,” she replied. She shook her head, returned her gaze to his, and pinned a smile to her lips. “Now it seems I’ve run out of time.”
Daffin nodded.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she said after a few moments passed.
He arched a brow. “You do?”
She glanced at Nicole. The marchioness was making tiny little sighing noises, but didn’t wake. Nevertheless, Regina lowered her voice to a whisper. “You’re wondering why I so cavalierly offered you my virginity.”
Daffin tugged at his cravat. “Perhaps,” he said in a low voice, pasting what he hoped was a lazy smile on his face.
She lifted her chin. “Because I wanted to know what it felt like to do exactly as I pleased.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Pardon?”
She pushed the blanket down to her lap. “I don’t expect you to understand. You’re a man. You couldn’t possibly know what it feels like to have little recourse in life. That’s why I wanted to know why you became a runner.”
He shook his head. “I don’t follow.”
Regina stretched her arms high above her head. “I’ve never been able to choose what I do in life. I’ve had my whole existence planned for me since the moment I was born. It fascinates me to know some people can actually do as they please. Like you. You wanted to become a lawman, so youdid. I suppose I enjoy hearing about it. Wondering what it would be like to have that sort of freedom.”
He narrowed his eyes on her. “What was planned for your life?”
She shrugged. “Be a dutiful innocent, marry, produce little heirs. All of that.”
“But you haven’t done it.”
“Not yet. But it’s still expected of me. I cannot even marry the man of my own choosing. No. Hehasto have a title.”
Daffin traced a knuckle along the windowpane, still watching her. He’d never considered how trapped someone like Regina must feel. “I always thought being a pampered lady would be the easiest life imaginable.”
She sighed. “Easy in some ways, perhaps, but also incredibly unfulfilling. What use am I? What good do I do? That’s why I was so eager to help you determine if I was the target. That’s why Nicole wanted to be a Bow Street Runner and a spy.”
Daffin rubbed his chin. “I never thought of it that way.”
She glanced at her sleeping friend. She kept her voice low. “And that’s why I wanted to spend the night with you. I wanted it to bemychoice. My decision. I wanted to know what it would be like to spend the night with a handsome man without having to marry him for the privilege.”
“Privilege?” Daffin’s eyes widened.
Regina met his gaze head-on. “I’m quite attracted to you, Daffin. That’s been no secret.”
“I’m attracted to you, too,” he admitted. “And I am flattered, my lady, believe me. But I should not be the one—”
