He nodded. “Let’s see how badly he wants to live.”
Masakage left their group and went back to knock on the door.
She frowned. “Should we go with him?”
“My presence would only make them nervous. If they weren’t grieving, they’d have normally attacked me.” He squinted toward the cottage. “Grief does strange things to people. Even theaþaswere.”
“I’ve never known grief. It’s as foreign to me as happiness.” Her honesty surprised even her. She wasn’t sure why she made such a confession. But it was true.
“You’ve never lost anyone?”
She laughed bitterly. “Never had anyone to lose.”
Xaydin flinched at those heartfelt words. But he understood. He was a loner himself. Loved ones made him vulnerable, and he knew it.
Because he knew the pain of loss. Of watching those he cared about suffer and die, he kept to himself so that he wouldn’t have to live through that pain again.
To not know it…
Xaydin couldn’t decide if she was lucky or cursed. Cursed because it meant that she’d never known friendship or family. That awakened a horrible feeling inside him.
He cared. And he hated the part of him that was touched by her honesty.
Touched by the beauty of her unusual features.
Stop it!
He couldn’t afford any tenderness for her. So he decided to focus on what he knew would end these feelings. “How many shapes can you shift into?”
She gave him a stern frown. “Pardon?”
“You’re a shifter. What I know about your breed is that you have forms you take easily and some are harder. I’m just curious what forms you usually take. Besides human, what’s your preferred form?”
If he didn’t know better, he’d think she was shamed by his question…which had not been his intent. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, only protect himself.
“You said you took one form to get to the town where we met. What was it?”
Gisela felt the heat rush to her cheeks.Don’t you dare tell him.Don’t do it.
It was a secret she’d been keeping the whole of her life. Letting it go wasn’t easy. It was impossible.
“I don’t want to anger you.”
He gave her a confused stare. “Why the reticence? I won’t get angry.”
“You hate shifters.”
“True, but I don’t hate you.”
Those words wrenched a sob from her. How awful that it was the kindest thing anyone had ever said to her. The closest statement to love that she’d ever received.
I am pathetic.
Because those words touched her. They made her ache for a normal life.
It was so hard to live at court and listen to the petty concerns of those who thought their lives were hard. They had no idea how lucky they were. No appreciation for the love that was thrown at them.
Not the ones like her mother who dealt with falsity and lies. Everyone claimed they loved their queen, but Meara knew the truth as well as Gisela.
