Good. Gisela lay herself over his chest and pressed her cheek to his heart that pounded and soothed her while he toyed with her hair that was fanned out over him. While he did that, he moved his other hand so that he could stroke her cheek.
“You are so soft.”
She placed a kiss over his heart, then moved so that she could look up at him. “You’re not, my monster troll.”
He smiled down at her, his eyes hot and searing. “Tell me why I can’t resist you, Gisela. Why I desire you when all my reason tells me I shouldn’t?”
“If I knew the answer to that, X, then I’d understand why I’m here with you when I shouldn’t be.” Biting her lip, she pulled back from him. “What are we doing, Xaydin? Seriously?”
“I think we’re falling in love.”
Silence hung between the two of them as those words echoed in the quiet stillness.
He was right. Gisela knew the truth of it. She felt it with every part of her, and it made her want to run away in terror.
A tic started in his cheek as he continued to brush his fingers against her cheek. He let out a long, tired sigh. “The worst part is I can’t afford to love you.”
“I know. And I don’t want to keep you away from your oath to hunt down theaþaswere. I would never take you from your vengeance.”
He winced at her words. “You’re right. I can never lay aside my sword. Not so long as children are out there being hurt because they’ve lost the parents who love and protect them. And it’s not just theaþaswerewho harm them. It’s why my sword is pledged to Dash and to his war against your mother. I’ve no choice other than to do everything I can to help those who are targeted by his enemies.”
“You can’t save the world, X.”
“If I save one person, then I’ve savedtheirworld and the worlds of those who love and depend on them. Homes aren’t made up of one single slab. They’re the product of thousands of stones. If one storm damages a single one, then the entire house is compromised, if not destroyed. I might not save them all, but I have to save as many as I can.”
And that was what she loved most about him. He thought of others and took nothing for himself. Just like what he’d told theaþaswerewhen they were making their contract. He wanted nothing.
“I would never take you from your fight, X.”
Xaydin kissed her lips, then withdrew from inside her. He moved to the side so that she lay beside him. He cuddled her tenderly as he covered them with the blanket.
“I wish I could give you what you want, Gisela. But I can’t let Meara have an advantage over Dash. Not when so many lives would be destroyed.”
Gisela glanced down to the nastiest wound in his side. She ached for him. Just as she ached for herself. “So what are we to do?”
“I don’t know. Just savor the time we have and let it get us through the rest of our lives as sweet memories of what could have been had we been born someone else.”
Tears welled in her eyes as she noted the deadness of his own. The last thing she wanted was to not see him.
Heartbroken, she swallowed hard against the sudden lump in her throat. If she had a choice, he would be it.
But that was a whimsical dream and she knew it. Prince Xaydin of Vaskalia was beyond the reach of anyone. So long as his need to kill his enemies remained, he’d never settle down.
“Very well.” Gisela forced herself to get up and retrieve her clothes. If they couldn’t be together, then there was no need in her torturing either one of them further.
It was best to leave now while she could almost bear the thought.
Although to be honest, the pain in her chest wasn’t really bearable. It hurt and it cut. She didn’t want to leave him, but just as he had said, she understood why it was necessary.
She only hoped the agony inside her ebbed eventually. Perhaps she might even one day find a way to smile again.
But some things weren’t meant to be, and their relationship was one of them.
Leaning over the bed, she kissed his cheek and dressed.
Xaydin braced himself for the sudden coldness of his body as she withdrew from him. It was for the best, and yet his soul itself cried out for him to hold her close.
To keep her from walking out that door.
