Just once...
Her hand drew closer to his cheek.
One inch, and he wouldn’t have to wonder anymore.
Taka pulled him back. “It’s a trick!”
“An illusion.” Shigeru struck her down, right in front of him.
Ryuichi cried out as if the blade had run through his own heart. No! How could it be?
He’d come so close to feeling her touch.
Now he was vacant again. And it was their fault! Tears welled in his eyes as grief consumed him.
“Ryuichi!” Toru shook him. “Snap out of it! It’s not real.”
“But so very telling.” A twisted, black version of the merchant’s wife rested her hand on Ryuichi’s shoulder.
Ryuichi no longer had the will to resist. The sensation of utter defeat consumed him and deepened. He was tired of being played with. Of feeling like a pawn. Of being nothing. No one.
I have no name. No one will claim me.
“Ryuichi, you have to fight. She’s feeding off your pain. The worse you feel, the stronger she becomes.” Shigeru shook his arm.
It was useless. Ryuichi no longer cared to fight back. “Why bother?”
Life was pain, and it was miserable. There was nothing here except utter despair. He’d been fighting since the day he was born. And for what?
More ridicule? Shame? Defeat?
Every day was the same. Nothing changed. No one respected him. He kept waiting for things to get better, and they never did. It was just utter agony, and he was so tired.
He was stupid to have thought it would be different here. That he could stand up for himself for once. And what had that gotten him?
Kato was lying near death, and Ryuichi was a member of this awful group he didn’t want to be part of.
Broken boys.
Castoffs.
Like me.
All those awful, nagging doubts... all his soul-sucking fears... and all the bitter, mixed-up feelings he’d pushed down deep inside his entire life were beginning to resurface.
And they were bringing with them friends that had multiplied with the bitterness he’d been denying. He didn’t want to be this person, but the cruelty of others was making it impossible.
One by one, the Toshis in his life had killed all goodness.
There was only so much a human being could take.
Enough was enough.
No one should be held on the ground and treated like this, denied even a semblance of humanity or dignity.I am not garbage!
I am not worthless!
He’d tried so hard to follow the rules and do what he was told, only to be punished again and again... and again and again.
