Frowning in confusion, Valteri turned to see the gentle form asleep in his bed.
What the bloody hell?
Horror filled him.
Over and over, memories shredded his soul. Impossible ones that couldn’t have happened.
Completely naked, he staggered from the bed as denial screamed out from the farthest reaches of his soul.
Surely he wasn’tthatstupid!
Yet there was no denying what he saw or the images that played out in his head of him and Ariel the night before. Of what they’d done…
Of what he’d done to her.
Nay! I wouldn’t have slept with an innocent maid! I know better!
His gut contracted violently at the sight of Ariel peacefully resting in his bed. At the sight of the bloodstained sheets wrapped around her pale, bare hips.
There was no denyingthat.
How could I have tainted someone so pure, so giving? What was I thinking?
Why was I so selfish?
His mind whirled with images of her soft caresses, her body molding to his. Even now, his loins burned for her and his insides raged like an inferno.
I should have cut off my prick at puberty!
Valteri rubbed at his temples as he damned himself a thousand times over. For one moment of his own reprieve, he’d condemned her to a lifetime of mockery and shame. His very soul screamed against his actions.
How could he have done this?
Was I drunk?
Wanting to beat his own ass, Valteri reached for his breeches and pulled them on. He poured water into a small basin beside the bed, and cursed his foul life before he began washing himself. She’d given him more than anyone and how had he repaid her?
He’d damaged her eternally.
I’m such an ass!
As he splashed his face with water, a new, sudden terror struck him even harder. What if his seed had taken root?
She could have my child.…
Valteri clutched at the basin, the edges cutting sharply into his palms as his self-hatred climbed all over him. Why had he not left her when he’d had the chance?
His oath to William or not, he should have fled this godforsaken country.
What is wrong with me?Clenching his teeth, he knew he had only one course of action, and that was even more reprehensible than what he’d already done.
Yet what choice did he have?
Make her a whore or the wife of God’s abomination. Either way, she was ruined. No one would ever look at her the same way again or be welcoming to her.
Life as she knew it would never be the same. No one would ever treat her like a lady again.
Even now he could hear Brother Jerome’s voice ringing in his ears.“The angels wept at your birth. In the name of God, we must save your blackened soul.”
