Ariel closed her eyes against the agony that tightened her throat. Truthfully, all she wanted was to go back to him.
“Milady?”
She looked up at Ethbert, his face shadowed by the darkness. He extended a bowl of porridge toward her. “I thought you might be hungry.”
“My thanks.” She took it from his hands even though her cramped stomach protested the smell.
He squatted by her side and tossed more wood on the fire. Strange how that had seemed so incredibly sexy whenever Valteri did it and yet it left her completely unaffected now.
After a silent minute, he looked back at her. “He won’t find us. You’re safe now.”
Safe.
That was the least of her concerns. The Saxon had no idea what she was really running from.
And her stomach clenched at the thought of Valteri.
Would he ever understand what she’d done and why?
Or would his pain be so great that he wouldn’t even care about the reasons?
Pain squeezed her heart in a brutal grip that stole her breath. The last thing she’d ever wanted was to be another regret for him.
I’m so sorry, my love.
“Milady?” Ethbert’s concerned tone did nothing to alleviate the misery inside her. He touched her arm and it took all her control not to flinch orflee. He’d been so very kind since they left, but he wasn’t Valteri and she wanted no other man to touch her in any way.
“I am fine.” Offering him a smile, she took a hesitant bite of porridge.
With a nod, he rose to his feet. She sensed he wanted to say something more.
The younger of his brothers—Arthur, if she remembered his name correctly—stepped forward with a blanket.
Ethbert took it, then wrapped it around her shoulders. “You should rest yourself and try not to worry overmuch. I’ll not let anything harm you. I swear it.”
Thanking him, Ariel set the porridge aside and settled down by the fire. She drew the blanket up to her chin, and wished to the gods that things had been different.
Damn you, fate and curses.
Ethbert and his brothers had dug through the snow to make her a pallet on the ground, but still the cold dampness seeped through her body.
Watching the flickering flames in front of her, she allowed her thoughts to drift.
For a while she remembered her real home, with her father and mother. While they’d seen her trained in her duties and had instilled in her an indelible sense of honor, they had basically been absentee parents.
Michael because he had other duties that kept him away, and her mother, Lailah, preferred fighting against Kadar and the rest.
Really, she barely knew her mother. As an Arel, she hadn’t possessed enough curiosity to ever ask about either of them. How they’d come together to create her. Though to be honest, her father and his ilk were prone to leave children like her strewn about.
It was something they all accepted. Those like her who were Arelim did their duties and never questioned their births.
Those like Shadow, who were of mixed blood, hated their Arelim origins that had been used against them. At least all the ones she’d ever met.
Funny how she’d never given any thought to that before. It’d never mattered.
An Arel didn’t question. They just obeyed.
Being human had changed that. Now she was curious and she wanted to know if her parents had ever cared for each other. Had her mother ever felt like this?
