With his family dead, there had been no one to stab him through his heart. Poor Hauk didn’t have that. His family had let him down every way imaginable.
It was why Hauk had moved on and made his family with Nykyrian and Syn.
Nykyrian . . .
He had no idea who that was, but from the level of love and loyalty that Syn and Hauk had for him . . . he must be worth it. That was the kind of friendship he’d always wanted.
Someone who had his back. No matter what.
Family isn’t just those who share your blood. It’s the ones who are willing to bleed for you.
TheBook of Harmonywas very explicit when it came to defining family.
Those who stay. The ones who run toward you in a crisis without an excuse and expect nothing in return.
Who are you kidding, Hadrian?
He didn’t believe in their gods. How could he? Honestly, he wasn’t even sure why he kept that tattered worn out copy of theHarmonythat Nero had given him when he’d been a boy.
The only explanation he had was sentimentality. It’d belonged to their father who had given it to Nero when he’d gone through confirmation.
But unlike his brother, Hadrian didn’t think for one moment that some esoteric god gave a single shit about them. If He had, He would have stopped the annihilation of a peaceful race before it happened.
Still . . .
He liked the poetry of the book. The optimism. Even if it was pithy bullshit at times.
You have to believe in something, kiddo.
He could hear Nero’s voice in his head. Along with his automatic response. “I believe in me.”
Maybe that was all there was to life. Believing in yourself. Because everyone else would just disappoint and hurt you.
When all was said and done, you came into the world alone and you left it that way.
By yourself.
But deep in a place where he wanted to deny it existed was a bitter yearning for something more.
For someone.
I’m a fucking idiot.
He’d go with that. Especially as he watched the way Jayne moved. The confidence and swagger.
She was exceptional.
Right in front of him. Everything he could ask for and more.
Yet he was bound to die old and alone because reaching out just wasn’t in the cards. At least not for the likes of him.
Life sucked. Always had and always would. That was the problem when you didn’t dare expose yourself. Be yourself. Because deep inside there was no way for anyone to accept you and you knew it.
And still that yearning remained. Damn Jayne for reawakening what he’d finally managed to bury. This was cruel and it was torture.
Yet as they reached the landing bay, his thoughts stopped abruptly.
Hauk slowed as Jayne pulled back.
