Then again, Xuri had been just as bad. Too afraid to stand up to his own friends and family, he’d hidden their relationship just as much as she did. His friends and family knew no more about his real nature than those around her had known hers.
He kept himself every bit as hidden.
The two of them were shadow people moving around, barely seen and vaguely known by the people who interacted with them. No one could be bothered to learn anything about them. For in the end, the heart was ever deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who could ever know it?
Be careful the chosen path and the webs of practiced deceit, for where they led, all were responsible for the outcome of their fate.
Good or bad, no one could be blamed save the person who brought favor or destruction down upon their own head.
Life was ever a complicated tapestry woven by those decisions, large and small, made every day.
“I don’t want to be your shadow person anymore, Xuri.”
He’d scowled at her. “Pardon?”
Valynda sighed as she reached up and cupped his cheek. Her heart ached for what he’d never been able to give her. While he was loyal and he loved her, he just hadn’t been there in the way that mattered most.
He kept denying her in front of his nanchon. That wasn’t what she wanted. Not for her and not for him.
They both deserved more.
They both deserved better.
“Xuri—”
“Don’t push me away, Vala. Please.”
God, how she wanted to. But that simple plea undid her. Mostly because she knew it wasn’t in him to utter such a thing. Such platitudes and niceties weren’t a part of his nature. He didn’t have to deign to such, and she hated herself for the weakness.
You hate him! He betrayed you!
Words so easily spoken, but emotions weren’t so easy to manipulate, and the head had nothing to do with her heart, as that stupid organ didn’t listen to reason, for it had no ears.
Damn them for it! Why couldn’t anyone ever reason with emotions?
Wouldn’t the world be better off if fear and hate and love and betrayal could be reasoned with? Why was it so damn hard to make them listen!
Yet the moment his lips touched hers, she was undone by them.
And before she knew it, he was pulling her into the hold of her ship, and into a darkened corner where she was his willing captive in a madness that she knew would have an even worse ending.
Her heart quickened with every kiss and caress. It’d been so long since anyone had touched her. Since she’d been able to really touch another. She was overwhelmed by the sensations of nerve endings.
And when Nibo entered her, she cried out in pure bliss, especially as he licked and teased her breasts in time to his strokes. Damn the man for being so flexible and talented. But then he was known for his skills in this department.
There was no way of denying this part of him. She should have known that.
He was a creature of sex. More so than any other. It fueled his powers and invigorated him.
“I’ve missed you so much, Vala!” His tone was so deep and throaty that it sent a chill over her.
“And I you.”
His arms tightened around her. When he held her like this, it was easy to pretend that he wasn’t a loa. That he was just a man who loved her—and maybe that was the problem.
She’d lied to herself so many times. Filled her own head with dreams of what she’d wanted him to be and made him into someone he wasn’t. Instead of allowing him to be who and what he was, she had fancied him as someone else, and that wasn’t his fault. He’d never once lied to her about who and what he was.
I’m to blame.
