It would kill him if he did. That was the curse of the Atlantean gods.
He wiped at the tears on Acheron’s face. “Gah, we look like two old women.” Styxx balled his fists in Acheron’s hair, which no longer fell down his back. “But at least you finally got a decent haircut.”
Acheron laughed.
Urian wiped at his own eyes as he remembered his own shock when Ash and Tory had cut their long hair and donated it to charity in honor of Sebastos’s first birthday.
With a ragged breath, Acheron released him. “You’ve no idea how much I missed you when Estes took me away, Styxx. I couldn’t stand it.”
Styxx snorted. “I do know your pain. I have not only my memories, but yours, too.”
Acheron gave him a fierce, stern look. “And now I have yours.” Tears welled in his eyes again. “Boy, don’t I feel stupid. Honestly, I don’t know how you could ever talk to me again. And if it makes you feel better, Styxx, I would have chosen her over me, too. At least she’s prettier to look at.”
Urian took Davyn’s hand as he felt his brother’s pain reaching out toward him. They all understood that misery. Love was too rare a gift to ever squander. If you were lucky enough to find the one person strong enough to stand by your side, you held on to them with everything you had and you never let them go.
Because if you lost them, it was an unimaginable hell that cut through you every day of your life.
Acheron gave him a grim smile. “You weren’t wrong to protect her. And we will get her back for you. I swear it.”
Urian choked on his own grief as he felt Davyn’s hand trembling in his. They both would sell their souls to have Paris and Phoebe or Xyn back. Just for one heartbeat.
Damn it, why hadn’t he cherished them more when he had them? The only regret Urian had was not spending more time in their arms. He should never have left them. Styxx was right. You climbed into the chariot, hell or high water, and you stayed by their side, consequences be damned.
Styxx wiped at his eyes. “Just promise me one thing. If this doesn’t work, you’ll finally kill me.”
Urian flinched at those words.Damn me, if I don’t understand that.He’d made the same request. And he hated every day he lived without the women he loved. It wasn’t fair to be here when they weren’t. They were the better half. How unkind was fate to spare the animal that was him and to take the beauty of their souls in his place? What kind of justice was that? How could that be considered right?
What the fuck was wrong with the balance of the universe that it would do such a thing to humanity? He was the one who should have been killed. Phoebe had never harmed a soul. And Xyn … she was a guardian. A lady of such beauty and grace.
He was a monster who should have been put down like a rabid dog.
Yet here he lived on for eternity while they were gone.
It wasn’t right and every time he thought about it, he wanted to rip the throats from the very gods themselves for their cruelty. For their lack of regard for humanity and leaving him behind because obviously they didn’t give a shit about what was right and what was fair.
Life was selfish and it was cold. Just like his barren soul. Why did life have to be like this? Why did the gods show you a glimpse of heaven only to rip it from your grasp the moment you dared to reach for it?
There was no need of an eternal hell. Life was punishment enough. No one deserved it.
Especially not the innocent babes born to this world who came in naked and unprepared for its brutality.
“Is that really what you want?”
Urian snorted at Acheron’s question that said it all about his naivete. Ash had never really loved and lost or he’d know that answer. No one wanted to live after having been gutted.
Time didn’t heal those wounds.
It didn’t cover the scars. The best you could hope for were momentary lapses in pain where it didn’t sting quite as bad. And if you were really lucky, those lapses might grow a bit longer in between.
That was it.
Styxx took Bethany’s hand into his and nodded as he spun her wedding ring around on her finger. “She was so happy when I put this on her hand. I can still see her smiling.…” He flinched in agony. “Gods, Beth, why didn’t I go with you when you left? I should have climbed on that chariot and never left your side.”
Urian clenched his eyes shut as Styxx repeated the words he’d heard him say so many times.
Acheron put his hand on Styxx’s shoulder. “It wouldn’t have mattered. Had she taken her serum, my mother still would have killed her. At least this way, we have a chance to bring her back.”
Urian wished he shared Ash’s optimism. His had been slaughtered on the altar of reality a long time ago. That bitch took mercy on no one.
