In that moment, he really did want to die. The last thing Nick wanted was to feel this much pain. Clenching his fists to his sides, he roared at the injustice of it all. It wasn’t right.
It wasn’t fair!
Since when is life fair?
Kyrian and Acheron would be the first to laugh in his face about that whine. Nothing about life was ever fair. He knew it as well as they did.
And he hated life for that fact. He always had.
Because it should be.
Maybe that was what adulthood really was, after all. The moment when you realized that the sheet wouldn’t tally at the end of the day. That one column would always have more than the other. And no matter what you did or how hard you tried, you just couldn’t get the columns to balance.
Victim or victor.
Did he really have a choice? Because right now, it sure didn’t feel like it.
No. This was life ramming it down his throat and shoving it in a place where he didn’t think the sun would ever shine again.
“I’m done, Caleb.”
Caleb scowled at him. “What?”
“I mean it, this time. Why are we bothering? Why are you fighting, still?”
He grabbed Nick by the shirt and jerked him so close that their noses practically touched. His dark gaze scorched him with fury. “For the reason you’re going to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Strap up and kick that bastard’s ass. You made a promise and we don’t break our words.”
“We’re demons.”
“And we don’t break our words. I made a vow to Lil. Just as Xev made one to Myone. And you just gave yours to Kody. We fight, not for ourselves, but for what we love.” He shoved Nick back. “You asked me what you should do. That’s it. You fight.”
Wiping his eyes, Caleb sniffed. “Go on. See to your mom. I’ll take care of Kody.”
Nick hesitated. “Did you hear back from Shadow?”
“He hasn’t found the swords.”
“What’s that mean?”
“That our enemies can rebuild their army.”
Nick’s stomach drew so tight that he felt sickened with those words. “That’s how they get us in the future, isn’t it?”
Caleb didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. The expression on his face said it all.
“We can’t win this, can we?”
“I don’t know, Nick. The cost has been so high.”
“But why? We’re fighting for what’s right. How can they just walk all over everything that’s good and decent, and no one stops them? No one else seems to care about the evil they do. Why should we suffer for the rest?”
Caleb let out a bitter laugh. “You’re asking me? The daeve demon? Remember whose side I was on originally? It wasn’t this one.”
He had a point.
Clearing his throat, Nick wiped at his eyes. “I figured out my powers, Cay.”
“About time.”
