My breath caught. “Ask for it?”
“Yes.” His blue eyes held mine with unwavering intensity. “I will not punish you until you can articulate why you need it. Until you can admit, out loud, what you did and why it was wrong.”
The thought of having to voice all of that, to lay bare my shame and beg for the correction I deserved, made my face burn with mortification. But I nodded, understanding that this was part of the lesson.
“Please,” I heard myself say, my voice breaking. “Please, Master, can we just… can you just do it now? I can’t bear waiting. I can’t bear thinking about it.”
“No.” The word was gentle but absolute. “You need to sit with what you’ve done. You need to feel the weight of your choices before I help you carry them.”
“But—”
“I’m going to use the naval cat on you, Jendra, among other things.” His words cut through my protest, and I felt all the blood drain from my face. The naval cat. I remembered Sala showing it to me, remembered the multiple knotted tails designed to leave marks that lasted for days.
A sob tore from my throat. “No, please, Master, please not that?—”
“I will use the naval cat,” he said firmly. “And you will accept it. But not tonight. Tonight, you’re going to sleep in my arms and think about what’s coming. You’re going to feel the anticipation build. You’re going to understand, deeply, what it means to be held accountable by someone who loves you.”
