Blake: Knox?
Me: Drop it.
Axel: Oh, you didn’t know? Our boy here has been collecting fat lips like fucking Pokémon.
Axel: Gotta catch ’em all. *Smiling emoji*
Ryker: Fights AND a contraband cell phone. Why don’t you just CANCEL your parole hearing, Knox? Save us all the suspense.
Me: I said, drop it.
Jace: Are you at least winning these fights?
Me: What do you think?
Axel: He’s winning. Look at him. He’s a goddamn tank. *Flexing emoji*
Blake: That’s … not the point, Axel.
Axel: It’s a little bit the point.
Blake: It’s not.
Jace: Who are you fighting? And why?
Me: No one. And none of your business.
Jace: That’s two different answers.
Me: And yet somehow, both apply.
Axel: See, this is why he needed the phone. The man is clearly going through something.
Ryker: The man is clearly TRYING TO SABOTAGE HIMSELF, is what he’s doing.
Ryker: What is so important and mysterious that you suddenly and secretly want a phone? What are you going to do with it?
Axel: Porn.
Blake: Axel.
Axel: What? It’s a valid guess!
Jace: It’s definitely not porn.
Axel: How do you know?
Jace: Because it’s Knox. He’d rather do push-ups than admit he has human needs.
Me: I’m right here.
Jace: We know.
Ryker: Knox, answer the question. Why do you suddenly want a phone that you’re keeping secret from the rest of us?
Me: Nothing you need to worry about.
Ryker: That’s the LEAST reassuring thing you could have said.
