Monday couldn’t come fast enough.
16
KNOX
SINNERS AND SAINTS GROUP CHAT
Ryker: Who the fuck added “Inmate #I-Can’t-Remember-His-Number” to this group chat????
Axel: Oops. I meant to add him to MY chat and Contacts.
Axel: Don’t forget to hide the phone up your ass, Knox. High enough to bend over and spread ’em for a body search. *Smirking emoji*
Blake: Do NOT do that. The phone would become medically lodged and require surgery.
Me: Axel, you fucking idiot. I told you NOT to tell them I got this phone!
Ryker: Are you fucking kidding me right now?
Ryker: Knox. Get rid of the phone. NOW.
Axel: Relax, Dad. This isn’t his first rodeo. *Eye roll emoji*
Ryker: Axel, are you a moron? Wait. Let me rephrase. Obviously, you’re a moron. You’re the KING of all morons. Do you NOT care about getting Knox into trouble?
Axel: Just for that, I’m putting “King” in my Instagram bio for sneaking him that phone. *Crown emoji*
Blake: Axel, you realize you just admitted to smuggling contraband into a federal prison. In writing. In a group chat.
Axel: …
Axel: I plead the Fifth.
Ryker: That’s not how that works.
Axel: Objection.
Ryker: THAT’S NOT HOW THAT WORKS EITHER.
Me: Can you two shut the fuck up? You’re draining my battery.
Jace: How did you even get the phone in there?
Axel: It actually wasn’t his ass, if that’s what you’re thinking.
Blake: I wasn’t. But now I am. Thanks for that. *Eye roll emoji*
Ryker: I’ve told you. REPEATEDLY. Cell phones are against policy. He could get in serious trouble. Parole boards do not smile upon prisoners who violate the rules.
Axel: “Smile upon”? What are you, a Victorian lawyer?
Ryker: Knox, do you have NO desire to get out of fucking prison?
Me: Bold question to ask a man who’s been in a cage for fourteen years.
Axel: Ooooh. Dark.
Ryker: You know what? If no one listens to my legal advice, why am I giving it? Why do I even bother?
