“I could have stopped, Harper. When he was on the ground, no longer a threat, I could have called the police. Could have held him there until they arrived. But all I could see was my daughter’s face. All I could think about was what he’d done to those other kids. What he would have done to her.”
He finally met my eyes, and the anguish there nearly broke me.
“So, I kept choking him. Until he stopped moving.”
Oh my God. I obviously knew that Knox had killed a man, but knowing that and hearing the explicit details of how he had ended that man’s life was overwhelming.
“After … I panicked. I ran back to check on Gwen. My ex was holding her with her back to me, so she hadn’t seen I was covered in blood. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if he’d already touched her. If I’d been too late. If my ex saw me, I knew she’d ask what happened, and I couldn’t explain it. Not with Gwen right there.”
“So, you left,” I said quietly.
“I drove back to college. Showered. Tried to think. I kept telling myself I’d go to the police in the morning. Explain everything. But before I could, they showed up at my door.”
Fucking hell.
“How did they find you?”
“Neighbor saw me chasing him.” He laughed bitterly. “If I’d just stayed. If I’d called the police myself, told them what happened … maybe things would’ve been different.”
“What do you mean?”
“The prosecutor.” Knox’s expression hardened. “Guy named Wolfe. He came at me hard. Told me I was looking at murder one. Life without parole. Said I’d chased a man down and killed him in cold blood and no jury in the world would see it as self-defense because the threat was over the moment that guy ran.”
“But surely, with the context … the break-in, the news reports …”
“That’s what my court-appointed lawyer said.” A ghost of a smile crossed his face. “He wanted to fight it. Told me we had a strong case for voluntary manslaughter at worst. Crime of passion. Temporary insanity. Defense of a child. He thought we could win.”
“So, why didn’t you fight?”
Knox was quiet for a long moment.
“Because Wolfe knew exactly where to hit me. He said if we went to trial, everything would come out. My ex would have to testify. Gwen would be examined by psychologists.” He couldn’t finish the sentence. “And even if we won, even if I walked free, Gwen would grow up knowing what he did or almost did to her.”
My heart shattered.
“Wolfe offered me a deal. Plead guilty to murder two. Twenty-five years, eligible for parole in half the time. In exchange, the details of the case would stay sealed. Gwen would never have to know what happened or almost happened to her. She could have a normal childhood.”
“Knox …”
“My lawyer told me not to take it. But Wolfe convinced me that if we went to trial, not only would we put Gwen through all of that, but also I’d get life with no parole. So, I signed the deal.”
He stared at the necklace in his hand, the beads clicking softly as his thumb moved over them.
“Looking back, I think Wolfe knew he’d lose at trial. That’s why he pushed so hard for the plea. He smelled my fear and used it against me. And I was so desperate to protect Gwen that I didn’t see it until it was too late.”
A silence fell over the room.
“You should tell her,” I whispered.
“Maybe.” He let out a shaky breath. “Maybe I should’ve told her a long time ago. Because by taking that deal, I was the one sentenced to prison.” His voice cracked. “But she was the one sentenced to a childhood without a father.”
He swallowed harshly, his Adam’s apple bobbing.
“I thought I had protected her.”
“You did protect her.”
But my words weren’t penetrating. He was somewhere far away, lost in fourteen years of regret.
