Jennifer nodded and tried to smile.“I’ll try.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Jennifer cried herselfto sleep again that night and awoke with a headache and stomach cramps.Every hour away from Grant seemed to worsen as time passed.The only time the band of pain around her chest would loosen was when she thought of taking a chance with him and having the guts to fight for a future with him.
She had survived so much in her lifetime.She’d survive losing him if she had to, but she didn’t have to give him up right now if she didn’t have to.Grant was right, she let her insecurities take over, and she’d given up on them.She’d never done that before.
Strength.It would take a lot to go to him and beg forgiveness for her stupidity.Jennifer sat up on the edge of her bed and stared at a picture of the ocean across her small bedroom.The picture always had a soothing effect on her.Not now.All her thoughts were trying to decide what exactly she could say to make up for the pain she caused him.
Jennifer stood and moved, stiff and painfully, into the bathroom and grimaced at the reflection she saw in the mirror over the sink.She looked like the walking dead.That was a good description of the face she saw in the mirror.
She stepped into the hot shower and let the water cascade down her body, loosening the tight muscles in her neck and back, hoping it would ease the headache.She was afraid the only thing that would help with her stomach was Grant and food.God, she missed the heat of his body, his weight, and the comfort beside her in bed at night.When the water started to cool, she washed quickly.She dried herself before squeezing as much moisture from her hair as possible.
Before she talked herself out of it, she pulled on the black lacy underwear Grant had bought her before looking through her meager closet for something that didn’t look like an old woman would wear.She pulled on one of her new pairs of jeans and a red blouse that Grant always liked on her.Both garments hung loosely on her small frame, telling her she’d lost weight.
She looked at herself critically in the mirror.She still looked pale and her eyes puffy,but it would have to do, she thought.Hopefully, by the end of the day, she’d have more color, and some of the swelling would go down if she could keep from crying.
Jennifer left her hair to cascade down her back and dry naturally in the mass of curls she’d always had to deal with.She added a little makeup to the sunscreen she used.She dusted eye shadow across her lids and then used mascara on her lashes.She didn’t usually like to wear a lot of makeup, but she had to do something to hide the effects the past few days had caused her.She decided to take what little makeup she had with her so she could touch up her face before she saw Grant.
She tried to eat a piece of toast with her coffee but gave up when it kept getting stuck in her throat.
Jennifer walked into the shelter earlier than normal, wanting to get everything she needed done so she could leave early that day.All day, she contemplated what she would say to him and couldn’t decide on anything.She hoped when she saw him, the words would suddenly come to her.
It was close to five before Jennifer was able to leave.She worried she would miss him and have to try his condo, which required a special pass to reach the top floor, or his house, which was farther away.She was concerned about her lack of energy and how shaky she continued to be.She knew a lot of it was nerves, but most of it was due to a lack of food and decent sleep.She’d tried eating crackers on and off all day and was pleased when she got a few down.
Finally, she pulled into Grant’s five-story building and stared out the windshield at the dark, cool grey stone of his building.His building.God, would she ever get used to his wealth?She decided she would have to if she wanted to be with him.
Jennifer fixed what little makeup she wore and applied a coat of lip gloss.She squeezed her cheeks to put some color into them.She took several deep breaths before pulling herself out of her car and making her way inside the building before she chickened out.
The main receptionist knew her from when she had visited Grant before, so she just smiled and waved as Jennifer passed and walked to the elevators.
She finally landed on the top floor and walked directly to his personal assistant’s desk.She didn’t take the time, this time, to appreciate the beautiful woodwork and gray, thick, plush carpeting he’d used to decorate his private office.
“Hello, is it possible to see Grant, please?”Her voice was a little breathless.She tried to smile but failed.She liked the woman.She’d met the older secretary, Dottie, a few times, and she had always been nice to Jennifer.
Dottie’s smile slipped, and she narrowed her eyes when she got a good look at Jennifer.“Good heavens.That explains his attitude in the last couple of days.You two must have fought.”She held up her hands when Jennifer opened her mouth.“No, don’t tell me.Let me go in before you try, okay, hun?”
