His dad died from cancer, and his mom from a car wreck.His sister had disappeared with her boyfriend before graduating from high school.He’d found her once and saw she was living with another guy in a little town in Alabama with three children.He’d given her his information if she ever wanted to connect with him, but she never had.
He’d done some things after college that might be construed as barely legal.He wasn’t a criminal, but he’d crossed some lines with ethics.He’d pissed off a lot of people as his business grew, and unfortunately, some people had lost jobs.As far as the Good Knight Society, there had been a few times that things could have gone south, but he managed to finish his assignment without killing anyone, or himself.
Grant could tell he made Jennifer happy, and she cared about him very much, but sometimes she got a look in her eye that scared the shit out of him.He couldn’t explain it.It went deeper than insecurity.He had done everything he could to give her confidence in their relationship, but decided time was the only thing that would prove she had nothing to worry about.
****
Jennifer
Time passed, and her feelings for him grew.Sometimes, a hardball of dread would fill her, making her question everything.Deep down, she still thought of herself as not worthy, and everything she prayed for would be ripped from her, and she didn’t know if she could survive.She knew the feelings were remnants from her childhood.But when a child’s been told and shown she doesn’t matter, her very soul is damaged beyond repair.
As hard as she tried to let go of her past, things would happen that would remind her that she wasn’t worthy and there was no future for her and Grant.
A shiver of unease ran down Jennifer’s spine when she answered her phone at work.“Hello?”
“Hey, Jen, it’s Madlyn.”
“Hi, Madlyn.What can I do for you?”she asked and tried to keep her voice warm.
“I wanted to see how you were doing, honey?”
Jennifer pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers.“Okay, I’ll bite.Why?”
“No one told me it hadn’t worked out between you and Grant until I saw him out with another woman.”
“Oh, when was this?”
“A Thursday night a few weeks ago?Her name was Vanessa.”
A ball of misery started to grow.They hadn’t been together that Thursday night because of a meeting.Grant was still trying to get his business where he wanted it, and he admitted it was taking longer than he suspected.
“We’ve all been so busy, and I haven’t talked to Tessa lately.I didn’t like the woman he was with.You know the type.Beautiful, tall, blonde, and model thin.But the best news is she didn’t last either, and now I’ve got him.I have to tell you, Grant is one of the most wonderful men I’ve ever met, and if it had worked out with the two of you, I would have never had a chance at him.I really think he’s the one for me.He’s so generous, and that man can kiss, among other things, but you know that, don’t you?”
A suffocating sensation tightened Jennifer’s throat, making a wild little sound escape from her as she exhaled.
“When have you seen him?”Jennifer asked, even though she dreaded the answer.
“We’ve been out a few times this week.I can’t remember which days for sure, but I could look at my calendar.”
Jennifer tried hard to swallow back the agonizing cry trapped in her throat.
Madlyn heard.“You and everyone else knew he wasn’t the right man for you.You’re a too-small town, and he’s a big city.Look at him, then look at yourself in the mirror.There was no way a man like that would stay with a woman like you.He needs a woman he can take to business events and be able to socialize.”Madlyn laughed.“Well, we both know you’re not right for that.Maybe we’ll see you out and about.And hey, if I find a man who would be good for you, I’ll give him your number.Okay?Take care, sweetie.”
A click sounded in Jennifer’s ear, and every ounce of feeling seemed to leach out of her, leaving her nothing but a walking corpse.This is what she’d been waiting for and dreading.The phone slid to her desk, and she sat there, too hurt to cry, too stunned to absorb it.
A big, sensible part of her believed Madlyn was lying, wanting to cause problems.The other, the less sensible, more emotional part of her, had been waiting for this all along.Madlyn knew where he was two weeks ago and had seen him that week, making it hard to forget her words, since Grant had been away for a few nights.He’d been gone more often than usual.And the name Vanessa seemed too perfect not to be true.
Jennifer had known deep inside that she wasn’t good enough for Grant, and eventually he would find someone who suited him better and they would break up.She just didn’t think it would hurt so much.
She couldn’t imagine staying together a few more months and their feelings deepening.Then something would happen, and they’d break up.It was tearing her apart now.Later, it would kill her.She would never recover from losing him.Now, she might have a chance.
She knew the pain would come, but she was holding it off as long as she could so she could get away from people.Like a wild animal, she wanted to find the nearest secluded hole to bury herself in until the pain lessened enough for her to breathe.She stood, grabbed her purse and phone, then left her office.
Kari did a double-take when she caught sight of a deathly pale Jennifer.“What the hell, Jen?What happened?”Kari’s voice was filled with concern.
Jennifer swallowed and shook her head.“Nothing, I’m just not feeling well.Can you take over for me today, and I’ll see you on Monday?”
****
