“I have an opportunity to revise my image,” said Niklas, his eyes on the ground. “Some time has passed, public opinion has shifted, and the Red Wings lost two other defensemen this summer. If I want to go back to the NHL, now’s the time to try.”
“Oh.”
I couldn’t find anything else to say. The idea of using a story like this to any advantage repulsed me, and it clearly had the same effect on Niklas. But for a place on the team that had been his home for years? And for me, it meant Niklas would be in Detroit. Judging by the grim look on his face, I guessed that he had run through each of these angles more than once already.
“What else, Niklas?”
His frown deepened. “Tom wants us to appear publically, to send out some photos from our trip. He wants me to use you as PR to give me better negotiating leverage. At the very least, he thinks it’ll win back some of the sponsorships I lost last spring.”
I blinked a couple times, trying to register this turn and the sinking feeling it brought. “And that’s why you want me to stay with you?”
“No,” said Niklas. “But this all means I might have a chance to stay in Detroit.”
I studied his face. “What’s the matter?”
Niklas sighed. “If I give it a try, I want you there with me.”
I wanted to stay with him, but at his place? The house was probably some oversized mansion in a gated community. It would be like staying at the Ritz Carlton. Overindulgent. A place where I didn’t belong. Still, I certainly wasn’t going back to Brad’s, and lining up my own apartment would take a little time. My current plan—crashing on a friend’s couch—didn’t sound particularly appealing, either.
I took a deep breath. “Stay in your stately manor? With a butler who shines your shoes every morning?”
He managed a little smile. “No butler.”
“I’m not sure I can live without a butler,” I said. “The Ritz did such a nice job polishing up our hiking boots.”
He didn’t smile this time. I studied his face for signs of emotion, but he seemed to have closed up at the very moment my own heart was struggling to open. He wouldn’t even meet my gaze.
“You don’t want to take the Red Wings offer,” I said softly.
Niklas frowned.
“It’s not that simple,” he said, still looking at the ground. “After spending the summer with you, taking a step down and playing for Djurgården sounded like exactly what I needed. But…” He put his hand back on my thigh. “But I have more to consider now.”
His words sunk in. He’d consider a spot on the Red Wings just to be in Detroit with her?Yes! Stay!Selfish but so, so tempting.
Niklas squeezed my thigh, getting my attention.
“You don’t look so happy anymore,” he said.
“You’re considering taking a position you don’t want just to be with me?” I said. “While I flounder around trying to figure out my career? That doesn’t sound like the right direction for us, any more than me following you to Sweden.”
Niklas shrugged. “There was a time when my career was important for more personal reasons, too.” The warmth was back in his eyes, and he smiled a little. “I haven’t signed anything,” he said. “I’ll only be skating at some unofficial practices. Let’s just give this a try, okay?”
I couldn’t resist. “Okay.”
*
“How does your agent know about me, about our trip? I thought that was private. Just between us…”
“Itisprivate,” he winced, “and it will stay that way. But when I didn’t answer Tom’s calls this summer, he asked around on my Swedish team. I had told them I was disappearing for a while but I’d be back for the season. Just so they didn’t go looking for me,” he said, his words coming faster now. “A few of the guys knew it was with a woman, but no one knows who you are…and that little bit of a story is about the most tempting bait we can throw to the press.”
Their pace slowed as we approached the end of the enormous airport hall. Each step brought them closer to the last moment of our magical trip, closer to our uncertain future. Niklas squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples.
“You don’t have to let these problems touch you,” he said softly. “We don’t have to walk any further together.”
His words were slow and deliberate, but he didn’t let his eyes leave mine. He was giving me an out.
“What exactly is ‘this’ and how soon is it coming?” I asked.
