Simon walked across the tile floor and opened the French doors to the back patio. The rustlings of the warm night blew into the kitchen. He watched as Marianna searched for silverware, uncovered plates of food. Goddamn, she was so beautiful.
From the moment William stormed up to her on her Miami lawn, the drive to protect Marianna had reawakened. And they had more than proved that the sizzling attraction between them was still alive. But lust and the drive to protect weren’t enough to tie two people together when things got tough.
Still, what had happened earlier in his bedroom pushed them into murkier territory. In the hotel room, she had taken him by surprise, taunted him, flaming his own lust for her until he gave in. At his house, she was ready to do it again, give him another fantasy.
Was he still an eighteen-year-old kid from the wrong side of the tracks, getting off on sex with a girl so far out of his league? After all this time, was he just chasing an untouchable woman, dick first? No. He wasn’t that kid anymore.
Her voice, her scent, her laughter, each part was tearing at him from the inside. There was a cost to taking pleasure from her. He needed to know if it was costing her, too. The answer he got back in his bedroom was yes. He still could find his way under all her protective layers, just like she could. But Simon had no idea what the hell to do with that answer.
Marianna looked up, and her eyes widened. He was staring at her, and she saw something in his gaze. She set down the plates and leaned against the counter. Her lips parted, like she was about to speak, but she hesitated, biting her lip. And in that moment, he could have stood there forever, watching her, just waiting for whatever she was going to say next.
“Have you ever thought about what we would be like now, if we had stayed together?” she asked quietly.
Simon’s heart gave a painful squeeze, and for a moment, he let himself wonder about that. Together like this every night, enjoying dinner and wine, making love to her in a bed they shared together, her soft body against his as they slept.
No. It would never happen like that.
He shook his head. “It would have probably been obscenely good for a while. But I still don’t think we could have made it this long.”
She closed her eyes. “You’re probably right. But it would have been fun while it lasted.”
He smiled. “It definitely would have been something.”
“Are things different now?” Marianna asked.
“I don’t know.”
Simon frowned. Back in his bedroom, he had gotten under her protective layers by taking her by surprise. Would she show any signs of vulnerability by choice? Was she willing to open up on her own?
“Why did you come to Australia, Mari? Aside from the reasons you gave Blackmore Inc.”
For a moment, her eyes were sad. “You were right that I was mad as hell that you walked out on me so easily.”
She looked down at the counter. Well, that was his answer. She was mad. Whatever else had been exposed in his bedroom wasn’t up for discussion. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh.
“But, Simon.” Her voice sent a wave of pleasure through him. She still had that power over him. “There was also a part of me that didn’t want to let you go again.”
Simon stilled. He could hear in her voice just how much this admission had cost her. That even admitting this to herself was painful. But there was still a ring of that careless selfishness in her words—she didn’t want to let him go. Like he was her plaything. Or was this still his old wounds talking?
A few years in the military had taught him that he could force himself to do just about anything, no matter how unappealing. And the idea of never lying over her again, never breathing in the scent of her soft skin again, never sinking deep inside her again, was pretty damn close to hell. But he could do it. Just like he made himself leave her back in Miami.
What had him on edge was the moment in his bedroom.
I want you, Simon. Just you.
At the time, he had been almost crazy with need. But now, as her words looped in his mind, he heard the sadness behind them, too. So much sadness. Was this what love felt like? Whatever it was between them, she had felt it in that moment, too.
When Simon opened his eyes, she was the one doing the staring.
“One more night, Mari,” he said. “Then this will all be over.”
He walked over to the counter and reached for her, letting his hands drift down her neck, down the bare skin of her shoulder. Marianna watched as he explored the contours of her arm. Then she laced her fingers with his.
“One more night,” she said.
Despite the temptation of lying naked next to Marianna, Simon still had hours of work that evening. After going over the plan for the next day, Marianna volunteered to clean up after dinner so he could retreat to the guest room and review the last of the updates.
She didn’t say a word when she showed up in his doorway. He steeled himself against the painful twist in his gut when she smiled a little and headed for his bed. It was useless. That reaction would never change. But by the time he finished with the details for the next day, she had been asleep for a while. Goddamn, he wanted to bury his face between Marianna’s legs and give her a reason to wake up. But it was probably better this way.
