I leaned in and kissed him. Then I pulled out slowly, not wanting to cause him any pain. He winced anyway.
“I’ll be right back,” I told him.
I went to the bathroom and came back with towels. After we’d cleaned up and I climbed back into bed, he stayed curled against me as if afraid the moment he let go, the world would come crashing back in.
I planted a kiss on his forehead and when I pulled back, he glanced up, meeting my gaze. His face was flushed and his eyes were soft with tenderness. He was somehow both otherworldly and entirely himself at the same time. He was always both, but more importantly, he was always Reed.
The enormity of it hit me in stages. I wanted Reed to belong to me. AndIwanted to belong tohim, too. I wantedus. I had never felt this way about anyone before. Not like this. It was a total feeling of surrender—as though I was willing to give him everything I had.
And that was the exact moment I knew I had fallen in love with him.
We lay in silence for a long time, listening to the quiet of the cabin. Reed’s breathing slowed.
Eventually, he shifted so he could look at me. His eyes were darker now, human again, but something luminous and tender remained in them.
“You didn’t have to do that,” he murmured.
“Yeah,” I said simply. “I did. And I didn’t rush a goddamn thing. I wanted to.”
His lips twitched. “You always sound so sure.”
“I’m not,” I admitted.
That got his attention. His brow furrowed. “You’re not?”
My gaze slid away from his, the words jammed in my throat. This part… this was what I’d always been bad at.
“Look, I’ve spent most of my life pretending I’m always fine. That I don’t need anyone. That being alone is better than dealing with something messy and emotional. But it’snot. I don’t want to pretend that anymore.”
Reed’s hand found mine, fingers curling tight. “So don’t.”
“I told you about Paul,” I said. “He was my partner and I cared about him. A lot. I’m pretty sure I loved him. He definitely felt the same way. But I never told him. And then it was way too late. After that, I was… hollow.” The word was too small for how I’d really felt. “And I thought at the time maybe it was because I let myself care about him. But now I see that it was because I was never brave enough to be real about how I was feeling. It fucking wrecked me.”
Reed swallowed hard, but he didn’t interrupt me.
“And then Cole happened,” I added, because it mattered. Because it was part of why I was still alive.
Reed’s eyes narrowed. “The vampire.”
“Yeah,” I said, smiling at that. Reed had nothing to worry about. I was his and his alone. “The formerly murderous vampire who saved me from myself. Not because he was nice about it. He was relentless.”
Reed’s mouth curved faintly. “I’m not sure if I ought to love him or hate him for that.”
“If I’m being honest, I’ve been asking myself that since he and I first met. But at the end of the day, he’s my friend. He never forced it to happen. It just did. But he’s… far away.” Then I hesitated, letting myself really feel the risk before I went on. “Look, LA is empty, Reed. And being here, with you, isn’t.”
Reed went very still.
I turned my head to look at him. He was staring at me like I’d handed him something fragile and priceless.
“I don’t know if I’m going back,” I admitted. Saying it out loud felt like stepping off a ledge. But even that wasn’t the full truth. Because the idea I could ever leave now was absurd, wasn’t it? It wasn’t even a choice. Reed was my choice. I added, “That scares the hell out of me.”
His voice came out rough. “Don’t, then. I don’t want you to leave.”
I nodded, but the simplicity of it hit me hard. I could stay. Why the hell not? I didn’t need to go anywhere. I could havethis, with Reed, every single day. We could make a life together. And I wanted that.
But there was something that needed to be addressed first. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it yet, but it felt weird not to at least broach the subject of becoming a werewolf. It would solve every single one of our problems.
“I—” I swallowed. “Reed, I’m human.”
