Then pain. Awareness. Crawling across the forest floor. My body repairing tissue and bone, shooting agony through me.
Knowing I was already too late.
Jeremy unmoving on the forest floor. His body slack. So much blood on his chest. His skin going ashen. His eyes sightless and staring.
Thierry begging my friend to come back.
Power flowing through my veins. Delicious wildfire and bliss. Awful and sick. Pleasure when it wasn’t asked for and wasn’t wanted.
Then a terrible understanding, a whimper of pure anguish escaping me. The alpha power was claiming me. A sick wash ofrevolting ecstasy spreading through my body and I couldn’t stop it.
No, no, no, please! I don’t want this—
Then, an instant later, the crystal-clear understanding that my best friend—mybrother—was dead. Because his power—a power I didn’t deserve—was flowing from him and into me. That only happened when the old alpha was challenged and lost. Or when the old alpha died.
Your fault, your fault, your fault, the Algea sang.You failed him. You failed them all. You’re not strong enough to protect anyone. You never have been.
The memories kept coming, relentless. Every failure. Every loss. Every moment when I hadn’t been fast enough, strong enough, good enough.
And then the worst one.
Harris.
Standing in the bar, looking at me with those dark eyes full of hope and love, telling me he wanted to stay.
And me, telling him no. Driving him away. The look on his face when his heart broke.
The door slamming shut behind him.
Then the emptiness after. The realization of what I had just done.
You did that, the Algea crooned, delighted.You destroyed the only good thing you’ve ever had. You broke his heart and sent him away. And now you’ll never see him again. You’ll die here, alone, exactly as you deserve.
The monster was right, wasn’t it?
I’d sent Harris away. I’d been so afraid of losing him that I’d pushed him out of my life with both hands. And now I was going to die here, and he’d never know I’d been wrong, that I’d wanted to take it all back and fix it. He would never know I lovedhim with everything I had inside me. He would never know that sending him away had been the biggest mistake of my life.
No.
Harris was pure and good. He was brave. He was loyal to a fault. He believed in me.
I could fight this. I had to.
I turned away from the despair the monster was trying to trap me in. Instead, I focused onhim.
Harris’s playful smile when he’d told me the cozy mystery was good—I should stop being such a snob about it.
I’d just been pretending, anyhow. I was in love with the book. Cozy mysteries about witches solving crimes was my new favorite genre.
Or the way he’d kissed me in that alley, fierce and demanding and perfect. My mate was brave and tender, all at the same time.
The warmth of his body pressed against mine when we’d slept together, his breathing slow and steady in the darkness.
The look in his eyes, full of conviction, when he’d said he wanted to stay. The way he’d pressed his hand to my back and let his touch soothe me after our useless search for Sally.
Harris was solid and real. Loyal and true. Brave and tender. Perfect.
I’d been loved by someone extraordinary. Someone fearless and unfailingly kind, who noticed when I wasn’t okay and who cared about me, without condition. He had loved me—Reed, the man. Not Reed the alpha.
