As if.
“I’m not here because I believe in this,” I told him with a grunt. “But don’t get the wrong idea; I’m not here to be a problem either. So if this place really is all about moving at my pace and there’s no such thing as failure or whatever speech you had ready for me, then I’ll move at that pace without being guided.”
If I had been expecting Reggie’s amused facade to flicker or be replaced by barely disguised annoyance, I was disappointed because he just chuckled, shaking his head. “I won’t pretend to know the full extent of your circumstances. And I’m certainly not going to understand your life beyond what was in the file.”
I wasn’t nearly as good at hiding my thoughts, and I flinched. “There’s a file…on me?”
Now he frowned. “You weren’t told?”
Which apparently meant it was my turn to laugh. “I mean, I’m here on the government’s dime. You can’t honestly expect to tell me anything…right?”
“Hmm,” he said, sounding troubled as he leaned back. “You wouldn’t be the first guest we’ve had here at the behest of a third party. And while it isn’t rare, it’s not common for someone to end up on our list of guests…not of their own free will.”
I snorted. “Really? Isn’t that what these places are for? Shoving people away where they won’t cause trouble?”
“No,” Reggie said with…not quite a sharp tone, but it was definitely clipped. “I would explain the point of this placeagain, but you clearly don’t want to hear it and don’t believe it. Again, you wouldn’t be the first to come here full of doubt.”
“Well, then I’ll just head out,” I said, pushing my chair back and waiting for Reggie to stop me, or at least call someone in who would stop me.
“You can,” Reggie said, shrugging lightly. “We’ll even give the government back its money, minus the cost of sending you wherever you want to go. You’ll have to wait until we can get a car out here, of course.”
And right back into the predicament I was in before, of course. Leaving was no more an option than refusing to come here had been. Not that Reggie knew or needed to know about that. It was probably not a big deal if I told this random man I didn’t have a choice to take his treatment, but considering the not-so-subtle threats I’d been put under, it was smarter to keep my mouth shut. Reggie was already getting on my nerves, something that had grown more common with the passing years, but that didn’t mean he deserved to be put on a watch list because I, once again, couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
“It’s easier foreveryoneif I stay here like a good boy for the full course,” I muttered, because that was all I was willing to say. “But it would be easiest if everyone else here let me sit around and pretend I’m doing fine.”
Reggie chuckled. “How about we make a little deal?”
“You have no idea how much that suggestion makes me want to throw this desk at your face,” I told him bluntly.
The little weirdo actually looked intrigued. “Do you think you could? Not that I’m questioning your willingness, I’m more interested in the logistics.”
It was a valid question, in all fairness. I was tall enough that I got a few looks in public when I stood over even people, menusually, that were already considered tall. I wasn’t bulky though, save for my shoulders and, for some reason, my thighs, but the rest of me? I could never bulk up for whatever reason. There was muscle there, and I had surprised more than a few people that my toned but not overly large muscles could lift their fair share of weight.
No, I didn’t think I could lift the desk, not without an absolute need, and wanting to pick it up and throw it at Reggie didn’t count.
“Are you sure you shouldn’t be one of the people who should be here?” I asked him dryly.
I wasn’t surprised when he laughed. “You won’t be the last person to ask me that. But since you’re here, what’s the harm in hearing me out before you decide to leave?”
“Fine,” I said, because Jesus, maybe if I listened to him, that might be enough that he wouldn’t need to watch me like a hawk after this. Plus, if he was going to be agreeable and reasonable, then it made sense to hear him out. “What deal?”
“I’ll do my absolute best not to pester you or push you, but at the very least, youtryto go through the program with an open mind,” he said, picking up a small tablet. “Considering the past few years have shown that you’re willing to be critical of systems and processes, that shows you’re willing to evaluate them before making a judgement.”
I frowned. “You were given the stuff I’ve been writing?”
“No,” he said immediately, his brow rising. “But one of the little-known facts about me is that when I know someone new is being added to the program, I do research to find what might not be handed over freely. You never know what you can find out about a person, and considering your name ended up attached to quite a body of work, I discovered a lot. Or at least, Iwasdiscovering a lot, but as I went along, I noticed some of it was mysteriously disappearing.”
“Yeah, well, it was obviously me losing my mind, remember?” I asked caustically, but I was unnerved and impressed by his dedication. Perhaps he was an annoying jabberjaw, but there was clearly more to him than that. “Better to get rid of the worst of it before people started thinking I was really losing my mind.”
“Well,youshould have been more thorough in your deleting because anyone who has any knowledge of computers can still find plenty,” he said, making me wonder why he put so much emphasis on you. Then again, annoying didn’t mean stupid, and it wasn’t like I’d bothered to hide the fact that I was here against my will, and who was footing the bill. That was enough for anyone with a brain cell and enough curiosity to put pieces of the puzzle together, especially if they were willing to do their own research, as he was.
I grunted, leaning back in my seat and staring at him. “So, your deal is that you won’t breathe down my neck, so long as I try to give this program of yours a chance?”
“Precisely,” he said, looking amused at my sarcasm. “Of course, I’ll still check in with you. That’s my normal habit, especially if people are on their first time in the program.”
I snorted derisively. “You want me to believe this whole thing works, but now you’re telling me people have to keep coming back?”
“Rome wasn’t built in a day,” he said, setting the tablet down and shrugging. “And sometimes people need more time than each program offers to find what they need. We don’t measure in terms of success or failure, only progress.”
