“Besides amazing?”
It was my turn to roll my eyes. “Quit tryin’ to hype me up.”
He chuckled, nuzzling my chest gently. “It feels…I mean, it’s a lot.”
“Yeah, I noticed,” I said dryly, glancing at my dick that was perfectly soft, apparently content from the orgasm, so he wasn’t even stirring despite talking about sex with a man I now could confidently say was attractive in every way possible, and who was also naked and laying against me. “Not at the moment, but usually.”
He snorted. “Well, yeah, there’s a lot of your dick, that’s true. But I meant the feeling, is well…a lot like your dick, there’s a lot and they’re big. I just feel so…full. And it’s almost too much; it’s so close to being too much. Especially when you fuck me. But I stick it out, and once everything works right, I realize it was a damn good idea to wait it out. Once I get through the ‘too much’phase, I go to the ‘just right’ phase, and then after a while, I hit the ‘it’s not enough’ phase.”
I leaned up and frowned. “Not enough?”
“Mmm,” he sighed softly, kissing me gently. “Yeah. Not because you’re not enough, but because by that point, I’m losing my mind and being…well, greedy.”
“Greedy?” I wondered, because even with everything that had changed since I’d known him years ago, greedy was not something I would have added to the personality traits he’d gained.
“Yeah,” he said, smiling again. “Greedy. As in I can’t get enough of you, of your cock, or of you fucking me until I can’t think straight. When you’re fucking me, it’s like the entire world goes away and all I can think about is what you’re doing, how you’re making me feel, and how I never want it to stop.”
“And that’s greedy?” I asked, still lost.
“A little,” he said with a chuckle, kissing my chest and sending a fluttery, warm feeling through me. “I guess it’s because when it’s happening, I feel like there’s no way to get enough. Like I want more and more and more, and there’s no way to fill that hunger. Which, when you think about it, is pretty greedy, considering you’re the biggest guy I’ve ever had.”
I snorted, pushing him over and sprawling on top of him. “Alright, now I get it, ’cause that does sound pretty greedy to me.”
“See? You’re getting it,” he said, wiggling under me.
“Am I crushing you?” I asked, prepared to pull back, but he reached up and took hold of me.
“No,” he said quickly. “It’s comforting. I remember, even as a kid, I liked having a bit of weight on me. Which usually meant, like, using couch cushions to lie under. But I’m a grown-ass adult now, which means I can switch the couch cushions for big, muscley men instead.”
I snorted. “So you’ve just found a new way to use me for my body.”
“Absolutely,” he said primly.
I kissed his chin. “I remember Kines was like that. He always said it was an autism thing.”
“Well, I’ve never come out positive for anything other than PTSD, and I didn’t have that as a kid,” he said with a chuckle. “Not everything is a sign of something bigger or more impactful. Sometimes you just like what you like.”
“Alright,” I said, thinking back. “I remember ya didn’t talk much about your folks.”
“They were…decent parents. Nothing I’m going to write a memoir to show how wonderful they were, but they would not get a call-out for how awful they were either. They tried their best, I guess, but…I was never close. And I never really had the chance to get close. Catelyn and I were always close as kids, though, and that carried into adulthood.”
“That’s your sister, right?”
“Yeah, younger. She’s got a couple of kids now, a husband, a nice house, a good job, the works.”
I thought about that for a minute before growing quiet. “I guess ya were thinkin’ about her pretty hard when they came knockin’ on your door and threatened ’em, huh?”
“You’re damn right I was,” he said with a sigh. “She was always trying to help me when she could, but there was nothing to really do, so she had to just let me live my life. Which is how we’ve always handled things with each other. Even if you don’t agree with what they’re doing, you just have to let them be them. That was how I felt when she dated that tool of a guy back in college for like…three years when it should have been three months at most. And that’s how she felt when I started painting a target on my back.”
Which, of course, was fine and dandy in his mind because danger aimed at him was something he was used to. Except in this case, the danger came from the people he had once worked for. He had always been a cautious person, which I’d been told more than once by others, was the best trait you could hope for in a medic. ‘A medic who doesn’t tell you to stop and think is a medic that’s going to get you killed,’ a CO had told me once, and I had always remembered it when it came to Walker. Even doing goofy, fun stuff around the base, he was the first to chew us out if it was stupid or dangerous enough for him to worry.
When it came down to the wire and we had to walk through fire, he was the first to step up. He had always been neutral about fighting. I think on some level he just accepted that was what we were going to do, a lot, and shoved his personal feelings aside. Yet when it came time to help someone, especially one of our own, he was the first to jump to the front of the line. It didn’t matter if I was barking at him to back down; he ignored me and hopped into the line of fire to drag someone back to safety.
It wasn’t just our own men he was like that with either. What should have been a routine patrol through a small village had turned into a brutal firefight when a group was waiting to ambush us. Luck had been on our side, and they’d caught us where we could safely hunker down and call for reinforcements while holding our position. Except there had been a family near us, unable to go anywhere because their choice was to come toward us through the bullets, or back down the street into the direct line of fire. Walker had point-blank told me to go fuck myself when I’d snarled that he was to stay put.
“Remember that family?” I asked suddenly as the memory rose in my head; I could practically feel the heat of the sun. “Ya pissed me off so bad that day. We were pinned down under fire from people who lived in that village, and you just…ya went right in and refused to leave them.”
“All it would have taken was a ricochet or one of those jackasses to throw a grenade or something, and that whole family would have been wiped out,” he said, and I could see the old irritation coming back. “That was the first time you and I ever butted heads.”
