I hated the way the happiness on his face at his ‘discovery’ disappeared and was replaced by hurt. “I’m not makin’ anythin’ up.”
“I didn’t say that,” I insisted, wondering if I could get away from our closeness without upsetting him. Considering the sheer size of him though, I would have an easier time making a boulder get out of my way; at least I couldn’t hurt a hunk of rock’s feelings.
“But ya don’t believe me.”
“I didn’t say that either. I said that there’s a chance you believe it, and I believe that.”
“That’s fuckin’ insulting.”
“It’s…Cade, please.”
“No, ya don’t get to stand there and accuse me of babyin’ ya, then turn around and say I’m the one losin’ his mind. I might be half off my rocker, but I know what I felt, alright? Ya don’t get to tell me what I did or didn’t feel.”
I sighed; this conversation was falling off the tracks rapidly, and I needed to right it before it…I don’t know, crashed and burned, taking out an untold number of people. “Cade, I hear you, I do, but?—”
“Shut up,” he grumbled, gripping my shoulders tighter. “Fine, here.”
I realized what ‘here’ meant only a split second before his mouth moved closer to mine, giving me long enough to squawk a protest before all ability to make a sound was wiped from me. At first, the kiss was even more awkward than the one I’d surprised him with back in my room before fleeing to the relative safety of…not being around Cade. It didn’t help that I was stiff with shock from his kiss, and my back was awkwardly pressed against the window. It didn’t last long, just enough for me toalmostrelax into the kiss, to give in to this insanity before he snapped back with a frown.
“Cade,” I tried again, my voice weak as my head swam.
“That wasn’t right,” he said and before I could point out thatof courseit wasn’t right, he tilted his head and his hands slipped up from my shoulders and cupped the bottom of my jaw before he eased forward and tried again.
It was the simplest change in position of our faces and his hands, but the kiss was immediately miles above what the last two had been. His lips were soft but insistent against mine, his fingers gentle but still clasping me. There was no tension or reluctance on my part as I felt his lips part ever so slightly, doing the same with mine. I felt my tongue slip forward, running the tip along the edge of his bottom lip, and God save me, I actually felt his fingers flex against my face as if he had enjoyed it.
Only for him to take the ‘if’ and throw it out into the mountains as his tongue darted out to meet mine. It was hesitant at first, but then pushed forward and slid over mine as our mouths opened further. I brought my hands up to wrap one around his shoulder and hold on to the middle of his back, the other behind his head gripping his hair and pulling him tighter against me. I didn’t have the mental strength to hope the glass I was pressed against was stronger than your average glass as I held tight to him, bringing one of my legs up to hook around his good one.
My thoughts swirled, leaving me breathless and confused when I realized he was pulling away. It was a gentle thing, but firm as he detached his lips from mine and let his hands rest against my chest as he stared at me. Gone was the delight from his face, and the irritation at me, and it was replaced by something wide-eyed as he stood, towering over me, his chest rising and falling as if he had just gone for a run.
“You liked it,” I said, because it was the only thing clear in my head.
“Uh, yeah,” he said roughly, his voice quiet. He blinked rapidly before his brow furrowed. I didn’t understand what had caught his attention, or was making him look so confused until he looked down. I followed his gaze and?—
“Oh…” I said, snapping my head up from the obvious bulge in his jeans. It seemed I hadn’t been wrong the other day when I’d said that even good pants wouldn’t be enough to conceal his dick if it got hard. I was also apparently right when I had privately thought that he was a grower, and if that was the case, then what there was left to grow was going to be plenty impressive. “You?—”
“Liked it,” he finished simply, and I looked back up to stare him in the eyes, not sure what I was supposed to do with this sudden influx of information.
“I…” was all that came out. I stood there, meeting his eyes as he stared at me with…I didn’t know what to call his expression, actually. It wasn’t outright encouraging, but it also wasn’t making me want to step away.
He glanced down and nodded. “You liked it.”
“This is so, so,soweird,” I said, wondering if I had accidentally stumbled into some alternate universe. It felt like everything was canted slightly, and I was the only one who could see how absurd everything had become.
“Kinda,” Cade said, wrinkling his nose. “I had a guy kiss me, then I got mad and kissed him back and realized I liked both kisses. Then I got hard from it, so yeah.”
“You’re great at summarizing things I was a witness and participant in,” I said wryly, rubbing my face with my sweaty palm. I made a face and wiped it on my pants. “I don’t know what to do here.”
“I dunno, what do people usually do when they kiss and like it?” he asked, and honestly, if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew he had been with other people before, I would almost believe him.Except I had to give him a free pass because this was the first time he had ever had that experience with a guy.
“Look,” I began, reaching out to…well, I didn’t know what I was going to do other than touch him. I hesitated before letting my hands hang there. “This is weird for both of us, I expect.”
“Hmm,” he said, sounding curious again, and took his hands off my chest to grab my hands and put them on his hips. “That what you were gonna do?”
“Probably,” I said weakly, my fingers closing around his hips. “Jesus.”
“That’s kinda different.”
“Thanwhat?”
