“Which I’ve accepted,” I told him, raising a brow.
“Right,” he said, and then blinked. “Oh…right. Yeah, okay. Uh, I’ll probably just…I’ll go.”
“Okay,” I said, and then looked over his shoulder, feeling a flurry of emotions shoot through me as I spotted Cade heading our way. His face was set into a frown as he approached until he realized who I was talking to, and the scowl that replaced it was darker than I was used to seeing on him. “And you might want to go a different way than the way you came…quickly.”
“Huh?” Logan asked, turning around and stiffening when he spotted Cade. “Aw hell yeah, um, thanks. I’m definitely going now.”
“Good idea,” I said, turning away to do the same thing. I kept on walking, knowing I was obviously avoiding Cade.
It wasn’t until I’d left him behind that I realized I had gone in a direction where there was no way to loop back around to avoid him. The hallway narrowed, and while there were a few closed doors where they held activities, there wasn’t anywhere to go. The best I could do was take the door at the end of the hallway, which led to a carpeted staircase leading upward.
At the top was a room that looked like a comfortable living room in an upscale apartment. There were chairs and couches against one wall, and a couple of chairs around a small table near the opposite wall, which was made of glass. I realized this was the room Cade had mentioned before, a lounge of sorts for anyone to look out on the mountains. There was even a small drink station, a little placard posted on the counter with the time the coffee had been replaced.
There was nowhere else to go, so other than hoping he respected that I was trying to avoid him, I walked up to the wall of glass and peered out. Everything was covered in a sparkling cover of brittle white. The mountain peaks shot up through the skyline, and I wondered how high up we were. There were patches of trees, most of them firs, completely covered andlooking sleepy and peaceful as I stood watching the sunlight make everything glitter like gemstones.
I tensed when I heard Cade’s voice. “Oh sure, ya come up here only after you’re tryin’ to hide from me.”
“It’s not hiding when I’m in the only room that wasn’t locked,” I said, not knowing if the rooms I’d passed on the way were closed, just dark. “If I were trying to hide, I would be tucked in a closet somewhere, don’t you think?”
“Avoidin’ me then,” he said, not taking the bait I was dangling. “And don’t say you’re not.”
I thought about being an ass and trying to deny it anyway, but I kept the words behind my teeth and sighed. “I told you, okay? I told you I needed some distance between us, that I needed to work things out. And I meant what I said. I’m sorry I did that, but I needed space and I needed time. And I need those things right now, too. Just because I…because I went too far doesn’t change that.”
Fuck, I was as bad as Logan, or close enough that I was uncomfortable with the comparison. Actually, I was worse, because unlike Logan, I hadn’t given Cade the chance to tell me no; I had just…helped myself to kissing him.
I could point out that I’d already said I needed time and space, but that Cade had continued to push. I could also point out that when someone told you they were trying not to jump your bones, touching them wasn’t a good idea, even when that was the way you connected with another person. I could even point out that continuing to hunt me down after I’d kissed him against his will was also a terrible idea, but…that wouldn’t fly.
In the end, I was the one who had kissed him. I had fought it, because all I could see during the last part of the conversation was his lips as he tried his best to make me understand his point. I had been the one to cross a line, though, not him, and it wasn’t his fault that I had done what I had; that was all on me.
“Stop,” he growled, snapping me out of my thoughts and back to the present. It made me curse inwardly because despite my shame and guilt, I felt a tingle in my groin at the low, almost dangerous noise. “Don’t look so surprised; I can see you’re beatin’ yourself up.”
“I have every right to beat myself up,” I said, snapping my eyes away from him and out the window. The last thing I needed was to be fucking turned on. I had done enough damage by being a horn dog; I didn’t need to add to it. “I’m as bad as Logan. I should just give up and hang out with him, birds of a feather and all that.”
“Why were ya talkin’ to him?” he asked, sounding irritated.
“Believe it or not, he was trying to apologize,” I said with a snort. “There was more to it than that, but yeah, basically he was trying to explain where his head was at and to apologize for being a creep.”
“Explain? What could he have to explain that?” Cade asked irritably.
I thought about telling him, but…well, even if it was obvious Logan wasn’t straight, it wasn’t my place to out him. “Explain, not excuse. I said he was trying to apologize.”
“I hope ya told ’em to fuck off.”
“I thought about it, but…I couldn’t help feeling bad for him. I accepted his apology.”
“You’re kiddin’ me.”
“Believe it or not, I’m not really feeling like kidding right now.”
I turned as he took a couple of steps closer, letting the door close behind him. “Ya can’t be serious? After what he was doin’? What he was tryin’ to do?”
“He was being pushy; he wasn’t on top of me trying to force it in,” I told him in annoyance. “I think I know the difference, Cade.”
“Ya can’t actually believe him, right?” he asked in a doubtful tone.
I turned toward him, raising a brow. “So what if I did? You weren’t part of the conversation, you didn’t hear him, and you aren’t the one who’s supposed to accept or refuse his apology; that’s on me. So maybe you should dial it back a little and think about that first.”
“He’s a piece of shit,” Cade grumbled.
