“Hard?” he asked wryly.
“I guess ya ain’t feelin’ as awkward about it now,” I muttered, feeling my face warm.
“No point now I’m telling all but the details,” he said with a sigh. “But yes, I was turned on by you.”
“You’re, uh…into me?”
“I was into you from the moment we met,” he said with a sudden laugh. “It was an uphill battle, so I wasn’t dealing with that all the time, which was hell, with how comfortable you were touching me. But I did it…and it came back. So that’s why I’ve been trying to put distance between us, just a little bit, for a while. Because it came back and I don’t want our friendship to…I don’t know, suffer because I can’t control myself.”
I frowned at him. “Why didn’t ya just tell me that?”
“Really?” he asked sourly. “I’m just supposed to say, ‘Hey, Cade, I’d prefer not to be as close to you for a bit because I saw you butt naked, thought you were the hottest thing I’ve seen in forever, and got hard?’ Because that would have been one hell of a thing to drop on you.”
I stared at him. “Uh…the hottest thing you’ve seen in forever?”
His cheeks colored furiously. “That… I got carried away. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“But that means ya were thinkin’ it.”
“I…yes, okay?”
“The hottest?”
“Jesus, is this a lack of awareness thing on your part, or are you trying to fuck with me right now?”
“I…dunno how to answer that.”
He stared at me, then looked away with a pained sigh. “Lack of awareness it is then, fuck, I was hoping it was you giving me shit.”
“Why would I be givin’ you shit?” I wondered.
“Look, clearly you either weren’t paying attention when we were around normal people, like those times we were given leave and could go out, or you just… No it totally tracks that you wouldn’t think anything of the attention you were getting…totally tracks,” he said with a snort. “You’re an attractive man, Cade. You’re hot.”
“I mean,” I said nervously, scratching the back of my head. “I guess some might’ve thought that before.”
“Before?”
“Well, I mean,” I said, gesturing toward my body.
He leaned back, raising a brow. “You’re telling me that since the incident, you’ve not had any attention whatsoever?”
“Well…” I said, knowing I was being cagey, but I didn’t know how to admit the truth to him.
He stared at me for several seconds before his expression softened. “You haven’t gone out or tried to date, have you?”
I squirmed in my seat. “I…no, guess I haven’t. I mean, there was a lotta gettin’ fixed up and recoverin’, and then once I was, I just…didn’t seem much point. Not exactly been lookin’ my best.”
His softened expression shifted into a scowl. “Well, that’s a load of shit. I don’t know if that idea is coming from you or if some idiot put it in your head, but there’s nothing wrong with the way you look.”
“Nothing, huh?” I asked; it was my turn to be sarcastic. “Not one thing.”
He slammed the table enough to shake it and make me jump as he got up and leaned closer. “You listen to me. Alright? There is nothing wrong with you, okay? I don’t care if you got your leg blown off and you’ve got enough scars to make a-a…I don’t know, some comparison that’s clever and meaningful.”
I blinked at him, seeing he was homed in with intensity, practically vibrating. I also couldn’t help but notice that his haphazardly placed pants were slipping down, they clearly hadn’t been tied tight enough, and I could see not just more of his flat stomach, but the short, dark hair threatening to peek out from the waistband. “This, uh…supposed to be motivatin’? ’Cause I’m pretty sure I had to give better ones in the past.”
“I’m being serious,” he said, and there was no doubt in my mind that he was. He leaned closer, resting one hand on the arm of my chair, and suddenly his intensity was…confusing. “Get that weird, fucked-up idea out of your head, or at least don’t be stupid enough to say it around me again. Your leg, your scars? Those aren’t a problem; they’re not grotesque. They’re signs you’ve been through hell andthencame back. They’re not horrors, they’re stories, and they show how strong and brave you are, andthatis more attractive than two whole, flesh and blood legs.”
“Uh,” I began, because he really was getting closer, and I didn’t know how to feel about that.
