“I’m kinda hearin’ a but,” Cade said with a snort.
“But,” I said, smiling, “I’m not sure it’s the sort of job I should be doing.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I… Part of the reason I came here was to escape the person I was as an escort. To be, well, to remember how to be me rather than someone else…for someone else.”
Cade wrinkled his nose. “Yeah, ya got a point, but also ya don’t.”
“Meaning?”
“Meanin’ ya seem to have that part figured out. I dunno how much. Bein’ a Guide isn’t like pretendin’ to be whatever for someone else. You’d be yourself. Able to do the stuff you’re good at. I dunno if ya want to spend your time helpin’ ’cause I know that ain’t for everyone. And it’s gotta be exhaustin’. But if you think it’d be good for ya…I think you’d be great.”
I smiled. “Thank you, Cade. That means a lot.”
“How long till they need to know?”
“It’s an open offer, so no time limit.”
“Well, that’s even better,” he said with a grin. “Now ya don’t have to worry about it if ya don’t wanna. Right?”
I looked at him before chuckling. “Right. Thank you, Cade. It’s nice to have someone put things in perspective.”
“Aww, ain’t nothin’.” He grinned. “So, uh, what’re ya doing when ya get to the depot?”
I knew what he was asking, and I smiled. “Take the bus down to Denver airport and fly out. I still have my apartment in Chicago, so I’ll stay there a few days, then on to Seattle.”
“Clay,” he grunted.
“Clay,” I agreed.
Despite the facility minimizing patients’ exposure to the world, they allowed short-term visitors. If they thought it would help…or at least not hurt. I’d called ahead and discussed visiting, and they said I’d have to wait. I was anxious to look him in the eye and see what was going on in his head. Ever since Clay had left Arete, I’d tried to distract myself. I knew Clay was in a place where his chances of healing were maximized, but it was hard to have only a brief phone call.
Cade sighed. “I wish I could come with ya.”
“You could,” I said gently.
“Nah. I know he don’t get a lot of visitors, and it should be his family when they can…and you. He’s gonna wanna see you more than me,” Cade said with a shrug.
I frowned. “He’s your best friend.”
“I know. And when he can have more visitors, I’ll go. Well, I’ll call anyway. I dunno if he’ll come back to Arete, but I’m gonna in a few weeks.”
I eyed him. “And hopefully you’ll try this time.”
“Hey,” he said in annoyance. “I try.”
I chuckled. “No, you haven’t, but maybe this time, you can.”
“Maybe,” he said with a shrug that said he didn’t believe it.
I wasn’t pessimistic, though. I had seen how quiet and thoughtful he had become since Clay had left. Maybe it was seeing Clay so broken that left him feeling lost. I hoped Cade might also see that Clay was finally taking his first steps to heal. And if Clay, who had stubbornly avoided dealing with his past, could find it in himself to turn things around and stare his pain in the eye, Cade could do the same. It wasn’t easy. Clay’s bad reaction showed that. But I once heard someone say that nothing in this world worth having came easily.
“Just think about trying,” I told him, squeezing his arm and smiling. “If not for you, then for your family, your friends. For Clay. Maybe even for me, if you want.”
“Ya’ll are my friends,” he grumbled.
“Then it shouldn’t be that hard to keep us in mind when you consider trying.” I grinned.
