“You don’t have to?—”
“I don’t have to stay and hang around like some stray dog begging for scraps?” he asked coldly before taking a breath and squeezing my hand. “I’m not, and you’d better not see me as some pitiful thing that needs your help or guidance.”
“I don’t,” I said in horror.
“Good, then stop acting like it,” he said roughly before smiling again. “Because I get to decide who is worth keeping in my life, not anyone else.”
“Good God, Cade is right, you are scary,” I said, eyes wide and staring at him, amazed at the sheer tenacity and strength that radiated off him. It at least proved I was right because I didn’t think anyone who wasn’t sure about who they were, or what they were about, could have come off that genuinely confident...and terrifying.
“Keep that in mind then,” he said with a gentle smile, turning to Cade. “Are you going to say something or sulk because he called you out on the thing I called you out on weeks ago when you asked me to try to be his friend?”
“I’m sorry,what?” I asked as Cade’s head snapped up, mouth falling open in shock and horror.
“Traitor,” he hissed at Isaac.
Isaac, however, was completely unfazed and smiled. “Cade loves you to pieces, but he’s as bad about talking about feelings as you can be. He wanted me to be friends with you because he thought I would be good at it. Turns out, he didn’t need to ask, because coming to like you as a person and...other things, came easily to me.”
I glared at Cade, unable to decide if I wanted to throttle him for his interference or horrify him by trying to give him a kiss for understanding just what kind of person Isaac was and tryingto guide him toward me. “When I no longer want to off myself, you and I are going to have a long conversation about how much you’re getting in my business.”
“Ya weren’t supposed to know,” he grumbled, glaring at Isaac, who continued to look angelic in his calmness.
“You saw the way things were going between him and me,” Isaac said calmly. “You had to know the truth would come out eventually. And in any case, does it matter? I grew closer to him because of who I am and who he is. If anything, you just nudged me on that path a little sooner than it might have happened otherwise.”
I stared at him. “What do you mean?”
He smiled that little private, secret smile. “I was intrigued about you from the start, Clay. And everything that followed was just...I don’t know, natural, organic, fated? Fuck if I know what it means. I don’t really care about all that, though, what I care about is you, and us.”
“What about you?”
“I care a great deal about me. Which means I know you have been pivotal for me to understand myself more than I might have without your help. So listen to me before you start coming up with a whole set of bullshit excuses as to why I’m better off forgetting you,” he said, and despite wanting to protest, I found myself locked onto his eyes and waiting for what he had to say. “You helped me in ways that one day I’ll be able to explain better, but can’t now. And it’s not just because you’re good in bed, or that you make me laugh. You made me feel important and vital, and you made me realize you are important and vital. Even in the state you’re in, confused, lost, hurting so deeply it breaks my heart, you were still enough to help me realize how to find myself again.”
“Isaac,” I croaked out.
“No,” he said softly, holding his hand to my face. “You helped me, and I’ve helped you. And if I have my way, we’re going to keep helping each other every chance we can, alright? So, you do what you need to do, because I know you need to do it. But I’m not going to be turned away because you’re not who you want to be; who you are. You let me be me, so now I’m going to do the same. And so is Cade, isn’t that right?”
“You’re goddamn right,” Cade said and stepped to the other side of my bed, taking my other hand.
“Guys,” I weakly said, knowing there was no protest, no fight that would cover the overwhelming hope and fear that filled me in that moment.
What if, in the end, it wasn’t enough?
What if I was still too broken?
“We ain’t leavin’ you,” Cade said gruffly.
“We’re here, now and later,” Isaac said softly, laying his head so it rested on my stomach, and I wished I didn’t have the restraints so I could push my hands through his hair.
“Okay,” I said, giving in completely. “Okay.”
We’d see. God, please, let me do this right.
