“I don’t know,” I admitted with a wince. “You seem pissed...or disappointed.”
Cade blinked and turned away with a snort. “I’m pissed ’cause I don’t like the idea of you actin’ like this...even though I know it probably happened a lot before I met ya. It sucks that you were that bad and I didn’t know, ya know?”
“I mean, I-I was going to say that I would’ve called you, but?—”
“Ya wouldn’t, ya keep this kinda thing to yourself...except last night.”
“Are you mad that Isaac was there? God, Cade, it was a miracle he didn’t get so freaked out that I never saw him again. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to see that.”
“Oh, please,” Cade huffed. “He would’ve never let ya go through that on your own, even if he was freaked out, but I don’t think he was.”
“He should’ve been, that shit was wild.”
Cade laughed. “I bet it was somethin’ to see. But he wouldn’t be the sort to take off just ’cause he was a little freaked out, and like I said, I don’t think he was. I think...I dunno, that wasn’t a guy who was freaked out if you ask me.”
“What, him in here just now?”
“Ya really think that if he was even secretly freaked out, there wouldn’t have been...I don’t know, space? But he got a call to come to your room from Reggie, and he was here just as fast as I was, faster actually, but he slowed down when he saw me comin’ too,” Cade said, looking at the floor with a frown. “He ain’t freaked out, Clay, he’s worried. I’m worried too, but that’s normal.”
“You’re never worried,” I protested.
He raised a thin brow. “I’m always worried about ya, and now I’m even more worried.”
“Wait, what? Cade, look, I know this isn’t my normal reaction to stuff,” I said, gesturing to the room and the disaster I’d created with my breakdown. “But there isn’t any reason to be worried about me! I mean...people say it’s better to get shit out and not hold it in. Kinda wish it didn’t mean breaking shit...again, but I don’t know, maybe this is a good thing?”
Cade frowned. “Of course it’s a good thing. I was worried about ya all the time ’cause you were worse than me about admittin’ when somethin’ was wrong, and there’s been somethin’ wrong with you every day for three years now.”
My hand slid over the picture without thinking. “I mean...yeah, I guess you’re right.”
He took a deep breath. “But now ya got someone else worryin’ about you, and you worryin’ about him.”
I frowned. “Wait, are you upset Isaac was here? Like...I mean?—”
Don’t say jealous, don’t say jealous.
Cade’s lips thinned before he shook his head. “I ain’t jealous if that’s what you’re thinkin’. Ya deserve to have more than just me carin’ about you.”
“Now hold on?—”
He held up his hand to cut off my protest. “I’m not sayin’ I ain’t good enough to be your friend, I’m not sayin’ anything likethat. What I’m sayin’ is thatyoudeserve to have more than just me in here carin’ about you. And I know out there ya got your family, and Gina’s family. I mean they’re the reason you’ve even bothered comin’ here all the time.”
I squirmed in my seat. “Having a ready and steady supply of guys to fuck is pretty nice.”
“Quit,” Cade grumbled. “We both know ya could’ve got laid just as much wherever ya were. You ain’t my first gay friend, y’all crop up everywhere if there’s dick to be had.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m not saying you’re wrong, but that might not be the sort of thing you wanna say to people.”
“Says the man who called me a cripple,” he said, the corners of his lips turning up.
I laughed. “Did you hear the way Luka sighed when I said that? I thought he was going to go find a string of pearls so he could slap them on and clutch them.”
Cade shook his head, barely fighting off the smile playing on his lips. “And I’m not even worried that ya had a bad moment last night, and I’m not bothered that he was here for it either. I’m glad ya weren’t alone...for once.”
“I never said anything about having freak-outs when I was alone,” I protested.
Cade stared at me with an impressively unimpressed expression. “Now, I know I don’t sound all that smart when I open my mouth?—”
“Aw, c’mon, man, you know I don’t think you’re stupid.”
