Iwince awake again, the pain in my face and head starting to feel familiar.
Well, so much for my plan. My one chance of escape. The only thing I have to show for it is getting drugged again, then repeatedly getting punched in the head when I awoke, only to pass out again.
Thank God he was so busy beating me up during the short plane trip that he didn’t have time to do… the other stuff.
Now, I come to, at the sound of Tony’s loud swearing.
Fuck. If there’d been any hope of getting out of the sick things he was intending to do to me, that hope is long gone, and I realize I have only myself to blame.
The guy I stabbed—Phil—was slightly more rational. Not that he wouldn’t have raped someone at the very first opportunity, but he clearly realized that it wasn’t in the job description, and he risked angering Devil. Apparently because the Devil founders want me for themselves, so it’s not like I was going to get out of being raped no matter what. But at least, that sick fuck would have kept his hands off me.
But now, with Phil dead and Tony seething with rage, I’m definitely in trouble.
I can’t even hope that Quill will save me. I still don’t fully believe he’s on my side. And he cried. I saw him cry.
It should have made me sad, but I guess I am somewhat psychotic myself. I derived neither pleasure nor pain from it.
Only anger.
Because he hurt me, and he’s not even strong enough to makeit right. He should have taken me in his arms and forced me to be his. He shouldn’t have given me a choice.
But he did, and I made it. And it’s all his fault.
He’s not invincible, like I once thought. He’s human, and humans don’t stand a chance against Devil.
I close my eyes, letting myself sink into self-pitying thoughts that don’t fully drown out Tony’s swearing.
“Should’ve killed that guy,” he’s growling. “He fucking saw. You fucking psychobitch, telling him I was going to kill you! Not that he was going to save you anyway. Never saw anyone drive away so fast. But what the fuck is your problem, you fucking cunt? Who the hell is Quill Nelson, anyway?”
My headache is overwhelming, and my eyes hurt like hell, but I manage to open my eyes at the sound of that name.
“He’s going to come save me,” I breathe out, a trickle of blood winding its way out of the side of my mouth from the cuts inside my cheek that are still oozing.
Moments earlier, I was busy telling myself I’d lost all faith in Quill, and the words I spoke to Tony were meant only for provocation. But the minute I hear them, my body tells me they’re right, even though my mind is yelling at me for being completely insane.
“He’s going to save me,” I mutter again, my heart clinging to that hope.
No, screams my mind. He won’t save you. He didn’t save you last time. He won’t save you now. No one can save you but yourself.
Well, then, I’m about as good as dead.
“No one can save you,” taunts Tony, confirming my thoughts. “And whoever this Quill Nelson is, I’m going to find him and beat him to a bloody pulp. Then I’m going to show him what I’ve done to you before I kill him.”
My hands clench in my lap at that threat. He seems to realizethat the threat to kill Quill has even more effect on me than his threat to rape me, because he spends the rest of the ride enumerating all the ways he’s going to torture and kill him.
But after my first reaction, I grit my teeth and do my best to ignore him.
While Tony’s talking about killing Quill, I’m thinking of exactly how I can killhim. Maybe I can’t save myself. But I’m not as useless as he seems to think I am.
Maybe I can manage, while he’s raping me, to grab one of his weapons. That’s probably my only chance now. Pray that he rapes me so he’ll be just distracted enough that I can turn one of his guns or his knife against him.
I shudder at the memory of the knife ripping through the layers of flesh, muscle and bone.
I didn’t think I’d have it in me to do that ever again. But I would do a lot more to save Quill.
Even though I hate him.
_
