Holding the baby girl was cathartic, as if all the holes he’d had inside him for so many years were slowly being filled.
It might seem strange, delusional on his part, but he had the feeling of having come full circle, from the death of his beloved Millie Rose to the birth of Nora Millie Rose.
“Okay?” Ellie prompted huskily as she appeared at his side, holding a now wide awake Aaran Knox in her arms.
She looked serene, as if the distress she had suffered earlier today had completely melted away simply from cradling the warmth of the baby in her arms.
As if the heartbreak of the past six months had faded away too.
If anything, Ellie looked more ethereally beautiful than ever. So much so that Knox found it difficult to stop himself from staring at her for the remainder of their visit.
A visit that went surprisingly well, considering how he had fallen apart at the start of it. Geoff had made them all a pot of tea, and Karen had taken delight in telling them stories of their initial fumbling incompetence with the babies.
Considering the circumstances, Knox considered it a successful visit. He had even accepted Karen and Geoff’s invitation to be a godparent to both babies, as had Ellie, before they left.
He waited until the two of them were in the cab, well on their way back to the city, before speaking again. “You and Day were together for almost ten years. Did you never consider having children together?”
She visibly tensed at the question, and her gaze remained fixed ahead. “Andrew didn’t want them.” Her mouth twisted. “I realized afterward that was probably because he was such a spoiled manchild himself, he wouldn’t have accepted a baby taking the attention away from him.”
Knox stared at her for several seconds, and then he began to laugh. “You really have had the blinkers removed, huh?”
The tension eased slightly from her shoulders. “Ripped off my eyes is probably a better description.”
“Enough to put you off all men or just any thought of reconciliation with Day…?”
“There will never be a reconciliation with him, ever.” She visibly shuddered. “As for being put off all men…” Her voice softened. “I really wouldn’t know, because since the breakup, I haven’t attempted to test that situation with another man.”
“Would you like to?”
She turned to look at him with those aqua eyes. “Are you offering?”
Was he?
Today had already been an…emotional one for him, to put it mildly. For both of them. Was this the right time for him to attempt to deepen his relationship with Ellie?
Much as it pained him, the answer to that was probably no. It was too soon after the emotional turmoil of meeting the twins to expect Ellie to make such a life-changing decision.
Which didn’t mean he was backing off in the slightest. No, he was just giving her the time to feel the same compulsive draw toward him as he felt toward her.
The last thing Knox wanted to do right now, or for Ellie to feel, was that he had taken advantage of an already emotional situation. “Maybe not today.” He smiled to take the sting out of his words. “Raincheck?”
CHAPTER EIGHT
Knox’s dismissal when Ellie had been about to say yes filled her with a hollow sense of rejection.
She had never found it easy to flirt with men, and once she was with Andrew, there had never been any need for her to do so.
Even if she now knew that hadn’t stopped Andrew from doing a lot more than flirting with other women.
But she had been teetering on the edge of saying yes to Knox, of welcoming and enjoying the mind-blowing pleasure she felt sure he would be able to give her. That she longed to experience. For him to now put that off, maybe forever, left her numb.
“Of course,” she answered stiffly, sure inside herself, despite his earlier comments, that the suggestion would never happen again.
She turned to stare out the side window. The familiar buildings eventually told her they were almost back at her apartment building. It couldn’t come soon enough for Ellie. Right now, all she really wanted to do was get away from Knox and the vulnerability caused by her feelings for him.
Feelings that had only deepened during their secluded lunch together and then watching him with the babies. She had no doubt he had been a wonderful dad.
“Ellie…?” Long and elegant fingers captured her chin so that Knox could turn her face toward him. “It really is only a raincheck,” he assured gruffly. “Today has been emotional for both of us. I don’t want you to do anything, for the two of us to do anything, that you might later regret.”
