Although his words give me butterflies, I roll my eyes at them. “This just sounds like the same thing, Asmo. You find me interesting, so that’s why you’re attracted to me.”
His jaw clenches. “No. That’s not what I’m saying.” He rakes his fingers through his hair. “But even if it is, why is that a bad thing?” Although his tone is calm, I can tell he’s fighting from saying more.
“Because then I’m just something you’ve never had. At what point do you get bored and throw me away?”
“Mae.” He takes a step toward me, and the shiver turns into something warmer. This room is so small, that single step nearly backs me against the wall. He takes another, and this time, I’m forced against it. “I threw my future away. For you. I threw my family away. For you. I threw everything away tohave you. What makes you think I would throw you away after I fought so hard for you?”
I snort. “So, the reason you want me is because you have nothing to go back to?”
His hand flies up, the movement quick as a snake striking, and cups the back of my neck. His fingers intertwine in my hair and tug, forcing my gaze upward. Pain lines his eyes. “What are you doing right now?” he whispers. “Why do you keep pushing this away?”
Because the person who raised me only did so to throw me to the figurative wolves and steal my throne. The person who I hoped to marry only did so after murdering my father and then nearly killing my sister, all for the purposes of tricking me into marrying him. Then he tried to kill me.
I have no idea if I can trust myself again, if I can ever trust anotherperson again. I have no clue how to love when it comes with so much risk—not just my heart, but the safety of my kingdom.
I close my eyes. Being vulnerable with others has never been my strong suit.
“Talk to me.”
I take a deep breath and force the words to come out. “I have a bit of a difficult time believing anyone,” I admit. “After…After Marik and Cora. Do you blame me?”
He reaches for my hand and brings it to his chest, to the space above his beating heart. “Do you not feel what’s between us? Are you so blinded by what my brother did?”
His heart beats against my palm, and I can’t think with him so close to me. “I?—”
He grips my hand and squeezes. “Did he damage your heart so terribly?” His voice breaks. He presses his forehead against mine, and my breathing hitches. “Did he kill what’s mine?” His words feel like a plea, and my heart cracks.
I’m suffocating under the weight of what he’s done to me. I can’t breathe when I look at you, but I can’t breathe when I think about being with you.
“Asmo, it’s?—”
But the moment is interrupted by three knocks on the door and Ivan yelling, “Ready?”
Asmo’s jaw clenches and his hold on my hand loosens. I slip away from him, his words clinging to me like a stain.
Did he kill what’s mine?
Every muscle in my body strains to turn back to Asmo, to scream and cry and hand him my heart and beg him to fix it. To put back the piece he stole from it.
But I can’t.
I have a kingdom to lead.
My heart can wait.
Chapter 28
MARIK
Elle doesn’t weara pillowcase to dinner tonight. Well, not exactly. Instead, she’s wrapped a cream sheet around her slender figure, cinched at the waist by a curtain rope. Her shoulders are exposed, and they’re somehow both smooth and sharp. She shoves past me when I open the door, her stringy red hair bobbing against her shoulder blades as she descends the staircase.
I reach to pull out her chair, but she stops me with a glare. It feels like every nerve in my body lights up at the defiance in her stare, like something ancient within me stirs.She’s here. She came to play tonight.
I stride to my chair, the ornate legs dragging along the ancient wooden floors. She sits opposite me, posture straight and gaze stony. I don’t need to descend into the bond to know what she’s feeling. The pointed glare of her amber eyes tells me all I need to know, the flame of the candles flickering in them like a living symbol of the hatred burning inside of her.
The first course is brought out, the waitstaff floating plates of salad behind them.
“Thank you.” Elle’s gratitude is warm, the upward tilt of her mouth offering me a glimpse of something I haven’t seen from her since beforeI was High King, but it disappears as the waitstaff turns from her without a word.
