“Sure. What’s going on?”
He looks around the room. “Mind if we speak outside?”
“Yeah. Give me a second. Meet you out there.” I grab my coat and shove my boots on, then follow him out the front door. “Is everything okay?”
He glances at the floor, then back to me. “I—yes. I just wanted to speak about Luca earlier. He’s having a very hard time.”
I cross my arms. “We all are.” My mind is roaring with anger. Is Ivan about to try to justify Luca’s outburst? “Ivan, he locked me in my room.”
“Mother. I didn’t…I had no clue.” He sighs, a white puff of air in the freezing night. “You’re right. It’s just…” He trails off, looking past me into the forest as he searches for the words.
Ivan has a heart of gold, and I try to remember that. He’s known Luca for years, has worked beside him, has spoken with him almost every day. Although he’s technically known of me since I was a little girl, he is closer to Luca. The roaring in my head quiets.
“We all join the guard for different reasons. Mine was for your father. Luca’s was for his daughter. She died when she was fifteen. She was rebellious and head-strong and I think you remind him of her in a lot of ways. When she passed, he went off the deep end. Began drinking heavily and became volatile. He…I don’t think he ever found a good way to deal with it.”
An ember of sympathy begins to take place, but only an ember. While I feel sorry for him and can give him some grace, I also find myself not caring. We’ve all experienced unimaginable tragedies in the last few months. I watched my friend die. I watched Holly burn. I watched Elle bleed out. I have been betrayed by the people I loved. A snappy response here and there is fine, but yelling at people and name-calling is not tolerable.
“While I am sorry to hear that, I don’t find that an acceptable excuse for his behavior.”
His face falls, a flicker of sadness now etched on his features. “You’re right. I just—I thought maybe that might help explain what happened today.”
“It does,” I say, refraining from addingBut it doesn’t matter.“If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.”
Ivan twists his hands together. “Thanks.” He turns back toward the door and pauses. His gaze is heavy and I fight the urge to look away. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing a great job. I know you’re doing everything you can to get Elle back. Just…Talk to us, okay? No more solo missions. If we lose you, it’s over. For everyone.”
I stay on the porch until I can’t feel my fingers, the weight of his words, of the kingdom, hanging over me.
Chapter 26
MAE
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Asmo hurls three daggers at the tree trunk in quick succession, each one landing a hair’s width apart in a neat row.
“What can I do for you, princess?” he drawls as he walks to the tree, his back to me.
“How did you know it was me?” I ask, leaning against a nearby trunk.
“Snakes have an excellent sense of smell.” He plucks the daggers out, drops of liquid leaking from each hole like tears.
He turns to face me. His hair is unkempt, as if he’s been running his fingers through it repeatedly. After the tense scene from earlier, I don’t blame him.
I came out here with a purpose—to talk about the plan for tomorrow, but I find myself asking, “What do I smell like?”
He faces the tree, sets his feet shoulder-width apart and raises the dagger. He pauses and turns to me. Through his white shirt, the black ink of his snake tattoo is visible. One corner of his mouth quirks, his dimple making an appearance. “You smell like pine and wildflowers.”
My own mouth quirks up in a soft smile. He throws his favorite all-black dagger at the trunk. It lands with a thump.
He walks to the trunk and yanks it out, a strand of sap hanging from the obsidian metal. Asmo lifts the dagger to his full lips and licks the sap from the knife, tongue expertly flicking along the blade. Those dragons take flight again, low in my stomach.
“What kind of flowers?” I ask, surprised I’m able to even get the question out.
He smirks. “Remember those bleeding-hearts we got from the market?”
