Me too, I want to say.I wish I could’ve done more. I wish I’d agreed when he asked if I wanted to chop the wood,and it was me instead of him.But I can’t get any of it out, so I just nod. God, my head is so heavy.
“And you? Are you okay?” Shay asks, stepping toward me, her look of worry so like her brother’s that I can’t lie to her.
“I…” My voice wobbles, and Shay doesn’t hesitate to close the distance between us, wrap her arms around me, and just let me sob.
26
NICO
She loves me.
She loves me, she loves me, she?—
“We’re ten minutes out. They’re ready for us?”
“They’re standing by. Stats holding steady.”
The ambulance bounces over a dip in the road, and I groan. Whatever they have me on is making the pain bearable, but it’s still agony.
Surgery. They mentioned surgery, right?
That’s probably why I’m not on something stronger. They’re going to put me under. And I’m going to wake up. I have to wake up. Because she told me to.
And she loves me.
Somehow, she loves me.
The tires squeal to a stop. Has it really been ten minutes? Time doesn’t feel right, like it’s moving through me rather than the other way around. Everything is a blur of light and color, and it hurts to open my eyes.
There’s nothing worth seeing anyway, because Este isn’t here.
People are talking, shouting, touching me, moving me.Someone pulls off my oxygen mask to replace it with a different one. The light is so bright.
“Okay, Nico, we’re going to count down from ten, okay?”
I close my eyes before she’s even finished speaking.
“Ten, nine…”
Did Este tell Shay? She said she was going to, right? I can’t believe I won’t be there when they meet for the first time. Shay is going to love her. She’ll understand why I was gone for her the second she thrust that bear into my arms.
“Eight, seven…”
I had plans to introduce them when the road cleared. Plans to convince Este to stick around town for a few days so I could show her around. I’d have taken her to Georgie’s bench and Shay’s bakery. Beyond that, I’d have had to rope Shay into showing us both around, since I’ve never spent much time in Wintermore. I was looking forward to seeing them together. To Este seeing what a well-adjusted Harland sibling looks like. To Shay meeting the person who owns me inside and out.
“Six…”
She loves me. And I love…
My sister is sitting in the corner of my hospital room, picking the same red nail polish she’s been wearing since seventh grade from her nails. She looks up when I shift, huffing a breath.
“It’s about time you woke up, Nicholas. I’m tired of listening to your snoring ass.”
She only ever uses my full name when she’s trying to get under my skin. But two can play that game. “I don’t snore,Georgina. Do I?” I tack on, because, in truth, I have no idea. Este’s never mentioned it.
“You do,” Georgie confirms, standing up and crossing the room, just to lounge at the foot of my bed. She hits the button to make me sit up, and I peer down at my arm as I move. It’s in a sling, but it doesn’t hurt.
Because I’m not awake, and this isn’t real. If it were, my dead sister wouldn’t be hanging out in my room.
