“I need you to promise me something first,” Nico says. “Promise me that later, or tomorrow, we’re going to talkabout it. You can’t just push your feelings down and ignore them.”
“Like you have?” The words slip out of my mouth before I’ve even fully thought them, and I regret them immediately. “Fuck. I didn’t mean that. I’m so sorry, I?—”
But Nico grips my face, forcing me to look at him. “Don’t apologize. You’re right. Exactly like I have. But you’re not going to turn out like I have. That’s not an option. You’re not a lost cause yet, and we’re going to keep it that way. So, I’ll help you switch off, then we’re going to talk about it. Okay?”
I’m not sure I’ve ever heard him sound so determined. I don’t like hearing him refer to himself as a lost cause, but I can’t push him to talk about that without giving him something in return. “Okay. I promise. We’ll talk.”
“Good,” Nico says, taking a step back and rolling his neck. “Now, you’re going to be a good girl and let me do whatever I want to you, aren’t you, angel?”
Almost immediately, his words dull my senses to everything but him, a welcome haze settling into my mind. It’s exactly what I need. Nico is exactly what I need. “Yes, Daddy.”
20
NICO
Este slips from tense to pliant the second I touch her.
Pressing my nose to hers, I breathe her in. “Promise me you’ll tell me to stop if it gets too much or if you get overwhelmed, baby.”
“I promise,” she whispers against my lips. “But I trust you.”
I’m not sure whether I should be honored at the level of trust she has for me, or concerned at how ready she is to shut her brain off after whatever happened in her therapy session today. But I get it.
I carry her to the stairs, taking them two at a time. We could do this on the couch, but I’m hoping she might switch off enough to take a nap after I’m done with her. I’d prefer to cuddle her in bed while she talks it out and then reward her with the lack of control she craves so much, but I know this is what she needs right now. And after seeing the blank look on her face when she first came downstairs, the deep shadows in her eyes, how can I not give her what she needs? I won’t begrudge her a break from her thoughts, as long as she talks it out with me later.
Admittedly, I need this, too. I need to be close to her. I’ve spent the past hour going out of my mind. Her therapy session always ends at the same time, and this is the first Monday she hasn’t come down right after. I didn’t think she’d appreciate me storming upstairs like an overprotective asshole to check on her, but I was tempted.
I open my bedroom door with my knee and carry her to the bed. This room has seen me more in the past few weeks than it has since I moved in. When I first set up my room, I tried to make it cozy and inviting. The bed is huge, because I thought if I had somewhere nest-like to sink into after a long day, I might actually do so. In reality, it always felt too big. It’s too big even for Este and me, but I hold her close enough that I don’t usually notice.
She whimpers as I lay her down, an island in a sea of the mussed-up blankets we left behind this morning. “Up,” I command, pulling her sweatshirt and tank off when she sits up. I duck my head, my lips skating over her skin, laving my tongue over her nipples until she falls back against the bed. She cries out as I drag my tongue down her torso, circling her navel, then flicking the tip in her belly button. Her back bows off the bed, and I flip her onto her stomach.
Este extends her arms, grasping the bedding like a lifeline. I tug her shorts over her ass, and she lifts her hips for me so I can slide them off. She’s beyond my wildest dreams, lying still in nothing but her underwear. All mine. All of this for me. I’ve never done anything to deserve her, and I’m not going to waste a second of our time together. What a goddamn privilege.
I shed my clothes, watching the steady rise and fall ofher back. Her breath hitches when I lean over her, running my finger down her spine, eliciting a shiver. Her skin is burning as I press my palms into her shoulders, but Este sighs happily, so my fingers must not be too cold. I rub her down, warming her muscles up and massaging the knots away.
“Is that good, baby?” I ask as I press my thumbs into her thigh, and she gasps.
“So good.”
I set her leg down and kneel at the foot of the bed, asking her to look at me. She peers over her shoulders, her eyelids heavy and her cheeks scarlet.
“How do you want me? Soft and gentle, or rough, angel?”
“Whatever you want to do to me, Daddy,” she pants, which is exactly the answer I expected. But I saw the way her mouth parted when I said “rough.” She may want to switch her mind off and not make decisions, but her body is loud about what it wants. Or maybe I just know her well enough to read all her subtleties.
“Whatever I want to do to you, huh?” I muse, drumming my fingers against the back of her knee where I know she’s ticklish. “There’s a lot I want to do to you.”
With no warning, I close my fingers around her ankles and tug her down the bed until her legs are hanging off the end and her pussy is mere inches from me. I part her thighs and push her underwear aside, baring her to me, and Este whimpers. She’s soaked.
“I want to taste you,” I murmur, before doing just that. Now it’s my turn to groan. I don’t think I could ever tire ofthe taste of her. She’s addictive. I relish in every gasp that spills from her lips, every cry that crawls up her throat. “God, angel. You taste better every time. How is that possible?”
I understand the appeal of losing your mind completely to pleasure, though Este does the opposite of shutting me down; she wakes me up. I devour her, holding her thighs while she thrashes in the covers, her pants turning to cries, turning to screaming pleas as she comes all over my face like a goddamn dream.
She’s fisted the covers so hard they’re half off the bed, and I can see one corner of the fitted sheet has popped off. I kiss my way up her body, alternating between her left leg and right as I stand, and Este whimpers every time my lips brush her skin.
I’m not certain she could move on her own, and she seems perfectly content to let me lift and position her like a doll.“Whatever you want, Daddy.”She’s put herself entirely at my mercy.
I lift her hips so she’s on her knees and round the bed. Este licks her lips as I fist my cock toward her mouth.
