“Sure, Piper-doll. Five songs.” I could feel Dean’s attention on us. Like we were interesting zoo animals to him. Well then, I’d start with “Old MacDonald Had a Farm.” By the time we got through all the barnyard animals, he’d wish he’d never shown an interest in our singing.
Chapter 14 – Dean
Life was full of moments you experienced and let go. A class. A book. A commute. A conversation you could no longer recall. Poof. Gone. And then there were the sticky moments. I had exactly one vivid memory of the fourth grade. I was throwing a football with my friend Paul, and I accidentally hit a girl in the head when she walked between us. She thought I did it on purpose. As if I had that kind of skill. I’d actually been aiming several feet to her left. That was the moment I realized my NFL dreams might not actually happen.
Standing in the doorway of Piper’s room and watching her eyelids grow heavy while Grace sang “You Are My Sunshine,” I knew this would be a memory that stuck. I was tempted to sing along, but I was an interloper here. The last thing I wanted was to make myself more conspicuous than I already felt.
After the song ended, Grace stroked Piper’s arm for a minute until her breathing evened out. Then she kissed Piper’s head and slowly stood up. As stealthy as a cat, she leaned over, turned off the lamp on the side table, crept across the room, flipped on the plug-in nightlight, turned on her sound machine,and gave me a gentle push out into the hallway before shutting the door almost all the way, leaving it open just a crack.
“That is quite the routine,” I whispered.
Grace raised one eyebrow. “Someday you’ll understand what it means to do anything and everything for a good night’s sleep.”
“I believe you.” I held her gaze, resisting the urge to put my arm up and rest it on the wall behind her. It was a good thing she couldn’t see inside my head right now. My mind was two steps ahead of a wall lean-in. Grace was grabbing the front of my shirt; I was pressing her against the wall. The bun was falling out of her hair. We were kissing. There was lots of kissing going on. If wishes were fishes, I’d own a whole sea.
It was an outrageous wish, but I wanted to belong here. Not a guest. Not a witness. They’d belong to me, and I’d belong to them. I’d be the one tiptoeing around to turn on a sound machine before heading into the kitchen to tackle the dishes. Grace would sneak up on me, but I’d be the one capturing her in my arms and carrying her to the couch. She’d know exactly what I thought of her in yoga pants, because I’d tell her every time she wore them, and she’d make fun of me for being so easily seduced.
I took a step back from her in the dark hallway and walked towards the kitchen. I should probably leave. My lonely childhood was in league with my raging attraction to her, and together they had plans to conquer the world. Or at least, this world.
“You never got dinner,” Grace said, coming up behind me. I glanced back, taking in her wringing hands.
Her nervousness was the wake up call I needed. Because being here wasn’t about me and what I wanted. What did Grace need from me? This was her downtime, and she’d chosen to share it with me for whatever reason. She didn’t seem like she was hoping I’d leave, but she didn’t know what to do with me either. One thing I knew, I was not about to have her serve me and then watch me eat.
“Protein shakes might be filled with sadness, but they’re filled with calories too. I’m fine. Piper gave me a handful of cheese crackers before we ate the chocolate puddings.”
Grace smiled. “You’re her pantry-raiding buddy now. You should feel special.”
“I do.” I leaned back against the kitchen counter and crossed my arms. “Grace, what’s something fun you haven’t done in a while?”
She looked at me like she was waiting for the punchline, but I was dead serious.
“I mean, like socially. The sky’s the limit. Or, this house is the limit, I guess. What do you like to do that’s not Chutes and Ladders?”
“I don’t know. Draw?”
“Draw?”
Grace quickly put up her hands up in a scrubbing motion. “I… I meant Pictionary. I really like that game. But never mind. You’re not talking about board games.” She glanced around and sighed. “We could watch TV.”
I gave her a thumbs down. “The sky’s the limit, Grace.”
She sat down at the kitchen table and rested her head on her arms, keeping her eyes on me. “I’m assuming you have an idea you’re hoping to lead me to.”
I grinned. “Maybe.” An idea had been forming but I doubted she’d go for it. “You and Jessica used to go country dancing on the weekends.”
“You remember that?”
“Of course. You took me and Isaac with you one time.”
“That’s right.” She gave a slow smile. “You two had to wear yellow wristbands showing you were underage. And Isaac’s was itching him, and he took it off and got us kicked out.”
“That’s the part you remember?”
“Well, yeah. You weren’t allowed to be inside without a wristband. It was their one rule. Stinking Isaac.”
“What I remember is you teaching me to country dance.”
“You weren’t very good at it.”
