I cleared my throat. “Um, I have a tendency to leap into things without looking and learn the lesson much, much later than I should. So much later, that getting everything turned around seems impossible. But then, another one of my weaknesses is a fondness for lost causes.”
I paused, and that was a mistake because everyone clapped, assuming I was done, and Gina announced it was time for dessert. Jenny was staring at me like she wanted to murder me. She got up from the table after Gina, and I followed.
“Where is she?” I whispered to Gina when I didn’t see her in the kitchen.
Gina motioned with her head down the hall, but she grabbed my arm before I passed her up. “Is this a leaping without looking moment or a fixing your mistake kind of moment?”
I swallowed hard. “Probably both.”
“I like your honesty.” She let go of me and went back to arranging dessert on plates.
I found Jenny in the guest bedroom where Dan had brought me for a pep talk. The light was still off, and she was staring out the window with her arms wrapped tightly around her middle. She’d slipped her shoes off at the door. She hated heels, but she’d worn them tonight. Taking them off was like taking off her armor, and yet, I knew she would put it back on the second I made myself known.
“Hey,” I said softly.
She whirled around and stared at me. “Why did you follow me?”
“I don’t know.” I really didn’t. I’d botched my speech. I’d botched this night. I’d botched everything. “I’m here to say sorry. Again.” Dan’s words in my head had me wincing. I was supposed to be a better man, not creating more reasons to need to apologize.
“Your speech was terrible.” She took a step towards me, her chin up defiantly. “So, you have a weakness for lost causes? Like me, right?” She dropped her hands and fisted them at her sides.
“No, not at all. That’s not what I meant at all.”
“Then what did you mean?” She stepped closer.
“I mean that the lost cause was hoping you could ever love me the way I love you.”
She blinked at me. “You don’t love me. This is all a game to you. You’re in there messing with Justin because heaven forbid another man ever looks at me.”
“He said he was going to try to take you home with him tonight.”
Her eyes widened. “And you thought you needed to swoop in and save little ol’ Jenny. Just like you swooped in with my boss, and my promotion, and my scattered underwear.” Her face darkened, and her eyes got glassy, and when I moved towards her she did a whole ninja move with her hands. “Don’t touch me.”
“I won’t.” I stepped back towards the wall, knowing I’d blown it in ways I’d be thinking about for a long time. She was right about me. Piercingly right.
Jenny wiped at her eyes and looked away. “I hate not knowing things. I hate being in the dark and feeling like everyone knows something but me. That’s how it was with Justin tonight. You two were facing off, and I was on the outside trying to figure out what was going on.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that.”
She stepped in front of me and gave my shirt a light tug, pulling me closer. “When are you going to stop apologizing?”
I swallowed. “Um, right now. Because you’ve asked me not to.”
“Is that a lie?”
“I hope not. I never want to lie to you again. Not even accidentally. It’s one of my goals in life.”
“What about Carin?”
“What about her?” I asked. “Tonight was the first time I’ve seen her in almost a year.”
“And yet you couldn’t go refill her drink?”
“That was petty of me. I was remembering the way she used to test me, just like that, to see if I would do anything she asked of me. She likes when men jump at her beck and call.”
“And you’re not afraid I’ll do that to you?”
