“Both.”
“Well, that’s really narrowing it down.”
I sighed. Sadie was not up for a game of twenty questions and neither was I. She was right. She was here, she had ears, and she was willing to do her best to listen to me. The least I could do was let her. “Noah got me my promotion. I didn’t know that until today. He also got my boss fired for me after I wouldn’t go talk to H.R. about what a creeper he was being. Noah went around my back and took care of it. And clearly he doesn’t understand how weak and helpless that all makes me feel because now he’s going behind my back and making sure I don’t quit my job. Which he’s right about! That’s exactly what I planned to do. I don’t want a promotion I didn’t earn. I don’t want to work with people who feel like they need to pick me up and coddle me and take care of my problems. Like you guys did with my roommate situation. Oh my gosh, I’m the most pathetic person on the planet.” I pressed my palms into my eyes.
“Okay, hold on.” Sadie patted my shoulder in the most awkward way possible. “There, there.”
I turned to look at her, and we both burst out laughing.
“I told you I was bad at this.” Sadie’s laugh turned into a sigh. “But wow. I think I need some air. I think you need some too. Let’s go look at the view or something.”
We got out and walked up to the guard rail, looking out at all the city lights. The moon was big and bright, making it easy to see the various litter on the ground from past travelers. I itched to get a pair of gloves and a bag and pick it all up.
Sadie dug her shoe into the gravel, making a horseshoe-shaped indent. “Jenny, you’re not pathetic. But you are better than this. Who cares why you got a promotion. Did you not deserve one?”
I didn’t answer. Deserve was one of those sticky words I tried to avoid. Thinking you deserved something, or that someone else did, led to people doing a lot of stupid things. Noah thought I deserved a promotion. He thought Chandler deserved to go. In my mind, deserve was related to revenge, and justification, and one-upping, and so many other things I didn’t ever want to be a part of. “I don’t know what I deserve, Sadie.”
“Okay, so let’s stick the promotion thing on a shelf for a moment. How did Noah get your boss fired?”
“It will make me sound pathetic.”
“Too late. Spill it.”
So I did. Every dirty detail. And when Sadie was properly fired up, she made me promise I wouldn’t quit carpool or my job until I was sure it was what I wanted. And also, not until I had a job to replace it. In all my misery, I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed eating and having a place to live.
“I can’t believe how badly Noah screwed things up this time.” She shook her head. “I didn’t think he had it in him to be that secretive. I just thought he couldn’t make up his mind about you.”
“Me too! I’ve been mad at him for all the wrong reasons. But it doesn’t matter now. The end result is the same. He’s officially killed my crush on him. It’s dead, and it’s never coming back.”
Sadie raised an eyebrow. “You sure about that?”
“Yes.” I just needed to hold onto my anger. Anger was better than hugs. Warmer and more satisfying. Less complex and confusing. And when my anger cooled, I’d have sweet indifference to take its place.
“I know you think he’s just back here to get you out of his system, but honestly, I think that’s what you need to do.Youneed to gethimout of your system. Crushes are all about fantasy and what ifs. Creative distance. You need to stop crushing on the man and do something about it. Let it run its course. That’s how you kill a crush.”
“I don’t know where you’re going with this, but I don’t like it.” Maybe Sadie wasn’t good at advice after all. Maybe she was throwing things at a dart board and seeing which ones would stick. This one was way off.
Sadie laughed. “You should see your face right now. You’re terrified of the idea. Yes, that’s definitely what you need. Date the idiot and let the shine wear off.”
“No way.” There was no way I’d be dating Noah after all this. A semi-truck zoomed by on the road behind us, sending a gust of wind and noise in our direction, and reminding me this probably wasn’t the best place to hang out all night dissecting my love life, or more precisely, my lack of one. “You ready to head back?”
“Yeah. I’m starving.” Sadie dug her keys out of her pocket. We quickly walked back to the car and got in, but Sadie stared ahead with the keys frozen in her hand. “I have a strange favor to ask. You can say no if you absolutely can’t do it.”
“Okay.”
“So, you know how my Dad is getting married next weekend? They’re having a rehearsal dinner tomorrow night. Which doesn’t even make sense because they’re getting married in the courthouse by a Justice of the Peace, no fuss no muss. So, this is more of a family dinner. Nothing to rehearse. My new step-brothers will be there. I’ve never met them. In fact, I’ve gone out of my way to avoid doing so, but I can’t get out of this. My dad wants us all to be there to support their new marriage, and my sister-in-law is sort of mad at me right now, and Dan is just trying to keep the peace between us, and I… just can’t let my dad down. I need to look like I’m happy to be there.”
“Oh, man.” That was rough. And it was definitely my turn to lend support. “What can I do? Do you need advice?”
“Advice,” she whispered to herself, like it was the most ridiculous suggestion she’d ever heard. “No, I don’t need advice. I need wing people. Could you possibly come? And Noah?”
She added on that last bit like it was an afterthought, and not the most important detail.
“Wait, what?”
“I’ll need people to talk to so I’m not just sitting there glaring at people.”
“But this is a family dinner. We’re not family.”
