***
Luke had never been more grateful for a hectic Saturday to keep him busy. Nobody wanted to cook on the weekend before Christmas, but everyone wanted good food. After leaving his third Christmas party, where he had created five side dishes to go with the family’s baked ham, he went home and collapsed on the couch, grateful to only have a half-hour left until he was supposed to call Tara. The overthinking alone would have killed him. As it was, he knew he’d be counting down the last few minutes.
He got up to get a glass of water from the kitchen, but rushed back to the couch when his phone rang. It was Tara. No time to overthink now.
“Hey.” He mentally kicked himself for sounding breathless and completely vulnerable, even though he was both of those.
“Hey.”
“Did you go ice skating with Jill today?”
“I did. She’s actually a really good skater. I could totally kick your butt in a race now, and stop without falling.”
“This I have to see.”
There was a long pause, and he pressed his palm into his knee where a tiny hole was beginning to form. His favorite pair of jeans were practically worn out. He hated the awkward pause, and knew there would be plenty more of those until they talked about the elephant in the room. There was nothing for it but to face it head on. “I don’t know how to make things right, but I want to.”
“There’s nothing to make right, Luke. You didn’t make Derek do anything. He’s the one who asked me to marry him, it was his cold feet, and his decision not to tell me about Jody in the first place. If I knew he was still getting over an ex-girlfriend I never would have said yes.”
“But I should have told you how I knew him from the very beginning.”
“Maybe not from the very beginning what with Aunt Sandy dragging you into the auditorium. But yeah, when we were sitting in my car outside Amelia’s house, that would have been some good information to have about you. I feel like an idiot for talking to you all through that Christmas party like you were somehow on my side.”
“I wish there weren’t sides.”
“Me too.”
Would she eventually make him choose a side, because she was too uncomfortable to ever be around Derek? Deciding between his childhood best friend and the girl he wanted to date would ruin both relationships. He was almost sure of it.
He wished he’d met Tara in an alternate universe. But wishes didn’t make things happen, and for the sake of making a clean start of things, he didn’t want to keep anything from her anymore. That was the only way they be able to figure out if they could be together.
“Derek wants me to be his best man this time. He and Jody came over last night and apologized, and I made them dinner. I also stayed up too late thinking about you. And I was speeding on the way home from work. Occasionally, I’m too tired to floss my teeth. I used an excuse to get off the phone with my mom today when she asked if I was dating anyone.”
Tara chuckled. “When did this conversation turn into a confession?”
“I don’t know. I got on a roll. It’s not like we ever have normal conversations. It’s actually one of the things I like about you best.”
“That I’m weird?” Tara laughed.
“That we’re both weird.”
In her background, he heard cackling and clapping. “What’s going on over there?”
“Aunt Sandy’s book club meeting. They’re having a Christmas party. It sounds like it’s getting a little wild. I might have to escape.”
“You could come over here.” He went back to picking at the hole in his jeans.
“I could.” She sighed. “I feel dumb asking this, but… does pity play a role in you spending time with me? Like, at all? I need to know.”
“Pity?”
“Yeah. My aunt dragged you into this, then there was saving me from Monica and Mary at the dessert table, and you obviously have guilt over talking Derek out of marrying me. I guess I’m just afraid you feel like it’s your duty to get to know me, and I’m not interested in that kind of relationship. If that’s the case, you’re off the hook. You don’t owe me anything.”
Sadly, he could see where she was coming from, even though she was completely wrong. “There’s no pity or duty motivating me. I swear it. Asking you to come over is me being selfish, to be honest.”
“Oh really?”
“The end of our date was pretty crappy. I’m hoping for a do-over. I want to grab all your attention and all your time until you’re sick of me. See? Selfish.”
