Chapter 18
“You didn’t go home and change first?”
Jay was in his work suit with his tie askew. It was a good look for him. Rebecca swallowed and moved aside so he could come in.
“No reason to go home. Nobody’s there.”
“I thought about asking yesterday, but I chickened out.”
He eyed her curiously. “Chickened out of asking me what?”
“If you wanted to do something together. But I didn’t want to rope you into plans. I know what that’s like, except I have no problem telling Grandma I can’t make it.”
He sat on the end of her couch, leaving plenty of room. Ah, the professional distance was in force, even here. She sat on the other end.
“Okay, you have to explain this beef with your Grandma to me. I get that she likes to meddle.”
Rebecca pulled a throw pillow onto her lap and hugged it. “She meddles by holding her money over people’s heads. Why do you think she’s paying for this wedding? She pays for everything Ian does. And in return, he chose the major she wanted him to have, and the career. If she hadn’t approved of Winnie, she’d have started pulling things back until he found someone more suitable.”
“Is that what happened with Patrick?”
Wow, she didn’t think he’d make that connection, but then again, she’d just put the clues right out there for him. “Yeah. I guess it is. Grandma paid for a lot of my stuff in college. I didn’t like it, that fear I might displease her and she’d cut me off. Patrick knew exactly how to handle her. She liked him instantly. I knew he’d be a good buffer, plus, he didn’t need her money. Instead of relying on Grandma, I’d rely on him.” She paused, knowing it was the truth, but wishing it wasn’t. “How could I think that would be better? I must have been out of my mind.”
“Did you love him?” Those worry lines between his eyebrows set in.
She stared at the floor, hating what he must think of her. But if they didn’t set this behind them it would always be hiding in the corner of their friendship. “I thought I did. But I’m not sure I knew what real love felt like.”
Jay rested his elbows on his knees, his head on his fists. “I was really mad at you for a long time.”
“I’m so sorry, Jay.” The space between them on the couch seemed to represent the rift she’d created in their relationship. She didn’t want it there anymore, though laying everything out made her insides squirm. “I was mad at me for a long time, too.”
And then, like a Christmas miracle come true, he scooted over to her side and took her hand. “Then let’s give you a break. No more being mad.” He raised an eyebrow. “Even at your Grandma, okay?”
She felt tears coming on and she ducked her head to hide them.
Jay tugged on her hand. “Hey now, this is a way too serious way to spend Christmas Eve. Can we do something fun now, like play with that hunk of cookie dough you have sitting over there?”
She tapped his knee with their clasped hands. “I’m glad you’re here because I would have made myself sick eating it and still had to throw half of it out.”
He released her hand and shrugged off his suit coat.
“Do you want to change into a T-shirt? I have a couple I got from an event fundraiser that would fit you.”
He looked down at his crisp white button down and nodded. “Yeah, I’d better.”
She retrieved one from her drawer and showed him where the bathroom was, so glad she’d taken down the mistletoe.
While he was in the bathroom, she went to tidy up the kitchen. She’d used all the time before he got here to pick an outfit and freshen up her hair and makeup, leaving her poor cookie dough on the counter. It was time to bake it or trash it.
Jay came to join her, sporting his T-shirt and black dress pants look. Of course, he looked good in anything.
“What’s this?” He picked up the cheap plastic mistletoe from the back of the counter and twirled it in his fingers. “Is this supposed to be mistletoe?”
“Yes, is that a problem?”
“Why isn’t it hanging up?” He held it up, and she grabbed for it, but he hid it behind his back.
“Don’t put that thing over our heads, Jay. You’ll just bail and have to ‘go check on dessert’ again.”
