Chapter 19
Shaun looked back at Chase and gave him an encouraging smile as they were leaving the porch. “Goodnight, you two.”
Paige nudged her husband. “Leave them be.” She grabbed Shaun’s hand and dragged him over to their car, the two of them laughing about something together.
“How long have they been married?” Chase asked.
Ashley smiled at him. “Just a few months. I was not a fan of Shaun when they first started dating, but he’s good for her.” She waved to Preston as he was backing out.
Chase glanced at Ashley, not knowing what to do now that it was the two of them standing there on her porch. Maybe with everything that had happened, it would be better to talk tomorrow. He took a step away, and Ashley pinned him with a glance.
“Come in for a minute, and let’s talk.”
She opened her door and went in, dropping the paperwork from Officer Darnell on the counter before moving to the couch, the same sagging leather couch that had messed with his mind earlier in the week. She sat down right in the middle and looked up, waiting for him to join her.
He stood in the doorway, more nervous than he’d ever been in his life. “Are you okay? I should have been here when Reid showed up. I should have followed you home instead of sitting there, overthinking everything.”
Ashley gave him a small smile. “You do that a lot. Overthink things. And I’m fine. I think. Thanks for asking.” She raised an eyebrow, as if wondering if he was going to continue to stand there rather than come sit down next to her and talk about what they really needed to.
But if he settled into that blasted couch, he’d never be able to think clearly, so he walked over and sat in the armchair across from her and pulled the worry stone from his pocket, flipping it back and forth in his hands.
Ashley leaned forward. “I have no idea where we stand anymore, Chase. Care to clarify?”
He met her fierce expression head on. “We’re friends. But I’ve always wanted to be more.”
She looked skeptical. “Since when?”
“Since that first day I met you, when you came over to my cubicle and rescued me from my mean trainer.”
“Denise was mean.” Ashley seemed to size him up. “Prove it.”
“Prove what?” He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Ashley was in a strange mood, and he had a feeling he knew exactly what she was asking.
“Come over here and sit by me.”
He shook his head. “I’d like to know what you think of me first. I don’t want to be toyed with. If you hadn’t found out that I was your secret admirer, would you ever consider me as more than your buddy? I was always there, in the background, while you dated Phil, and Harrison, and Reid. It was never me. So don’t tell me to come prove anything.” He hadn’t felt angry until he’d said it, but with the words came the familiar feeling of rejection, of being the unnoticed good guy while she dated guys better-looking who treated her terribly.
Ashley stood up and walked across the room, her hands in her hair. “I will never be free of him. I will never be free of any of them.”
“I shouldn’t have said that.” How had he turned this into a fight? They’d never had a fight, but they’d never been able to be completely honest with each other before, either. But this was too honest. He’d hurt her, and she’d already been hurt enough.
“You said what you were thinking. Bravo, Chase.” She stared at the wall, blowing out a long deep breath.
Chase got up and walked to her, taking her arms held rigidly at her sides and wrapping them around his middle until she was almost hugging him. She looked up at him and sighed. “I shouldn’t want to hug you right now.”
“Take the hug, Ash.”
She balled her hands into fists and lightly punched his ribs, and then she put her arms around him fully and held on tight, resting her head against his chest. They stood like that for several minutes.
“I’m in love with you,” he whispered in her ear.
Her head shot back up, and she pulled her arms away. “Don’t say that right now.”
“Why not?”
She ducked her head. “Because being in love with me is not the same as loving me, Chase. You’re attracted to me, maybe even infatuated with me. But you don’t love me. Loving me means you have to give me everything, even the things you hide. It means you have to accept that I have a past that’s not so great.”
“Do you love me?” he asked, feeling frustrated and confused.
