I bent my head and pressed a kiss to the top of her hair, letting my lips rest there for a second longer than was strictly casual. Her fingers flexed against my chest in response, like she felt the line we were crossing and decided to step over it anyway.
Her gaze stayed locked on the discarded ring. “You know, if I ever do it again,” she whispered, “it’ll be because it’s right. I don’t care if it’s a gum wrapper. I just want it to feel like me.”
The discarded diamond sat on the nightstand now, a small circle of gold catching a sliver of lamplight.
Not on her hand. Not on her.
I swallowed past the gravel in my throat. “I just need you to know that I’m not someone you need to fix.”
“I have never thought that, even for a second.” Her big eyes met mine. “I’m glad you’re finally figuring that out for yourself.”
Clara curled in closer, fitting herself against me like she’d been designed for that exact space. Her bare fingers spread over my sternum, tucked under my palm. Her legs tangled with mine beneath the sheets, her foot brushing the sensitive skin of my calf before settling.
We had rules on the fridge for everything except this growing feeling I couldn’t ignore.
I didn’t sayI love you.
The words sat heavy on the back of my tongue, untested and huge. What I did admit, just for myself, staring up at the ceiling while her breaths evened out against my skin, was that this—her in my bed, my shirt on her body, our lives braided together in thequiet between midnight and morning—was what love felt like for me.
Darkness settled, soft and private. My thumb kept tracing slow lines on her arm long after I felt her muscles loosen, after her breaths turned into soft, steady pulls of air against my chest.
She fell asleep first, warm and solid and real in my arms.
I stayed awake a little longer, listening to the heater hum and the faint whistle of wind against the window. For the first time in longer than I could remember, lying in my own bed upstairs, I didn’t feel like a man waiting for something to go wrong.
I didn’t feel broken.
I felt free.
