"Antonella."
Kristen's voice is soft. Careful.
I look up at her.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Do I?
I don't know what I'd say.
I'm pregnant.
I'm pregnant with Bruno's child.
What will he think?
What will he feel?
I don't even know if Bruno wants kids.
What if he doesn't?
What if this pregnancy is the thing that finally breaks whatever fragile connection we've built?
What if he looks at me and sees a trap instead of a gift?
My chest tightens.
If he sees this as a burden?—
If he pushes me away like he pushed away everyone else?—
Then I'll leave.
The thought crystallizes in my mind with surprising clarity.
I'll leave.
I won't stay where I'm not wanted. I won't raise a child in a house where they're resented. I won't become my mother, sacrificing everything for a man who can't see her value.
I love Bruno.
And I'm carrying his child.
And I have no idea how he'll react.
"I don't know how to feel," I say finally.
Kristen moves closer. Sits on the edge of the tub beside me.
"That's okay."
"Is it?"
"When I found out I was pregnant with Lily..." She pauses. "I was terrified. I didn't know if I was ready. Didn't know if Jack was ready. Didn't know if bringing a child into that marriage was the right thing to do."
I look at her. She rarely talks about her ex-husband. About the life she had before she came here.
