Sometimes, late at night when the compound goes quiet and the pain in my spine keeps me awake, I think about ending it.
The thought surfaces now, familiar and unwelcome. I've turned it over in my mind more times than I can count. The gun in my hand. The barrel against my temple. One squeeze of the trigger and the pain stops. The humiliation stops. The endless fucking struggle to prove I'm still worth something—it all stops.
But I'm too selfish.
I want my life. Not this half-existence in a wheelchair, watching my brothers run the empire. I want my life back.
I will have it back.
I've suffered enough to earn it.
I've paid the price. I'm still paying it.
But Antonella hasn't.
I lower the gun. My arms ache. My shoulders burn. I've been shooting for over an hour.
When she kissed me, I felt alive for the first time in two years.
And that terrifies me more than anything.
I set the gun down on the table beside my wheelchair.
I can't drag her down with me.
But I'm too selfish to let her go.
The contradiction tears at me. I want her gone so she can have a real life. I want her here so I can keep feeling whatever this is.
I grab the gun again. Load another magazine.
The first shot hits the target's shoulder. The second hits the chest. The third goes through the throat.
She's wrong.
There's nothing left to save. Just anger and ambition and the stubborn refusal to die.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Antonella
The compound feels like a tomb.
Two days since Bruno and I kissed.
I've spent most of my time with Aria. She's wonderful. But even she can't fill the void that's growing inside me.
Kristen and Nico left four days ago with Lily. Something about visiting Kristen's mother. Nora stays in her room. Lorenzo and Sophia haven't appeared at all. I don't know if there's something happening with the family business, some crisis pulling everyone away, but the silence is suffocating.
I'm going to lose my mind if I stay here another day.
My phone buzzes. Oliver's name lights up the screen.
Still on for today? I found this amazing coffee place near the river.
I type back quickly.Yes. I need to get out of here.
That bad?
