Dad. The only person who’d been here, waiting, worrying. The only person who actually loved me, and I’d put him in danger by quitting the team. Carter had been clear about the consequences of cutting off his information flow.
“Thanks,” I managed.
She left me alone again.
I could see everything now—how I’d lost myself instead of solving my problems, instead of fighting for myself. I’d given them everything—my body, my submission, my secrets—and they’d taken it, all while leaving me to handle the real problems alone.
My heart beat steady and strong, the valve once again working as it should, keeping me alive, giving me the strength to fight.
The rage built, hot and clean and focused.
Carter was going to pay, and so were the men who’d left me to face the consequences of their actions alone.
I’d been everyone’s victim long enough.
I was done.
The monitor’s rhythm stayed steady now, matching the cold determination settling in my chest. My artificial valve beat strong, pumping fury through my veins with every pulse.
So fuckingdone.
8
TRISTAN
Fuck!Snow drifted down outside, and I had no fucking idea where Eva was, and neither did anyone else.
The door slammed open downstairs, and heavy footsteps stomped by my door. Cole.
He slammed his bedroom door behind him, but not before I saw the brown paper bag in his hand.
One chance.I’d give him one chance to pull his head out of his ass and help me find her. After that, he could drink himself to death for all I cared. I shouldn’t have to clean up this mess again. Not when he was the one who dragged me into blackmailing her. Not when he was the one who should’ve been focused on bringing the team back together instead of selfishly drowning his cares in drink.
“What?” he snapped when I knocked on the door. The bottle was already open, although I could see he’d found time to swap out the bedding during the day.
“I can’t get ahold of Eva,” I said.
Worry flashed across his face before he schooled his expression into indifference. “So?”
I shoved him back into his room. “What the fuck do youmean, so? She quit, and then she disappeared, and now nobody can fucking get ahold of her! We have to find her! What is wrong with you?”
Cole cocked his head at me, raised the bottle to his mouth and took a long swig, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “What the fuck is wrong withyou? She betrayed us.”
“Because she didn’t have a choice.”
Cole’s expression made it clear he thought I was a fucking idiot. “She didn’t have a choice about the spying. She could have confessed it was for my father at any moment, including when she was fucking me before the semester started. She could have told us she was fucking Alek.”
“She wasn’t,” I murmured. “I think the hotel was the first time.”
“She was naked in his room,” Cole exploded. “If they weren’t fucking, then what the hell were they doing?”
“She said he forced her,” I tried, “to get the job.”
Misery cracked across Cole’s face like ice breaking on a pond. Fuck. Coach had saved him, had pulled Cole back from the edge when his father’s money and threats weren’t enough, had given him hockey, purpose, a reason to stay sober. And now?—
“No wonder you’re fucked up about this,” I breathed, understanding hitting me like a freight train. “It’s not just Eva. It’s him, too.”
Cole’s hands shook as he raised the bottle again. “My hero,” he said with a bitter smile. “Turns out, he’s just another predator who likes to hurt pretty girls.”
