Forever.
42
COLE
“Word is,Tristan and your girl are looking for dirt on Jed Carter,” Massi said, leaning back against the concrete wall as I waited for Eva outside of the women’s basketball locker room.
I kept my face neutral, even as my stomach dropped.
“A dozen interviews so far, I’ve heard,” Massi continued, crossing his arms over his chest. “A man named Slade approached me after the game last night.”
My eyes shot to his. Fuck!
“Offered me ten grand to give him information about your girl.”
“She’s not my girl,” I said quietly.That was a lie.Eva was mine—she’d been mine from the moment she’d walked into the hockey house over the summer. I’d just been too fucking stupid and cruel to realize it.
“Maybe.” He pushed off the wall. “Ten grand would be life-changing to plenty of athletes. Be careful. All of you.”
A moment later, Eva walked out. Massi tugged on one of her ringlets. “Give ‘em hell.”
He left, and Eva stood there, not quite meeting my eyes, uncertain, beautiful, exhausted.
I ached just looking at her. I wanted to gather her in my arms and promise her everything would be okay.
“What are you doing here?”
I can’t sleep without you. I can’t breathe without you. I fucked up so bad, and I’m trying to fix it, and I can’t live without you.
“Bringing you lunch,” I said instead, holding up the bag.
Her expression softened. “Lebanese?”
“Of course.”
A small smile tugged at her lips before she caught it and it disappeared, but I’d seen it. That hope would sustain me for days, weeks, years if needed.
“I’m not pushing. I just—” I swallowed. “I wanted to make sure you ate something. That’s all.”
That’s not all. That’s not even close to all. I want to be worthy of you, even though I know I’m not.
She studied me for a long moment, and I let her, not afraid of her seeing my longing.
“Walk me to the student union?” she said finally.
Relief flooded through me so strong, my knees nearly buckled. “Absolutely.”
The cold air hit us as we exited the sports complex, and I instinctively moved to stand between Eva and the wind so I could button up her coat. To my surprise, she let me.
My hands shook as I worked the buttons. This close, I could smell her creamsicle shampoo, see the dusting of freckles across her nose and the dark circles under her eyes that said she wasn’t sleeping either. Even though she crashed with Alek most nights, it wasn’t enough. She wasn’tsafeyet. I knew getting arrested would catch up with meeventually, and I was terrified of what my father would do to hurt her in response.
My fingers brushed her chin as I adjusted her scarf, and I wanted to linger, to cup her face and let my feelings pour out.
Feelings she doesn’t want to hear.
Quickly, I buttoned up her coat and stepped back, immediately regretting the physical distance between us.
“Thank you,” she whispered, and the gratitude in her voice for something so stupidly small broke my heart.
