“Eva, stop,” I said, firmly.
She froze.
“I don’t want this.”
Her eyes widened, and a tear streaked down her cheek.
“No, fuck— I want you,” I said, desperate to reassure her. “Desperately. So fucking badly, I spend half my waking hours dreaming of touching you, tasting you, fucking you.”
Her chest shook as if she were holding in sobs.
“But not like this.”
She swallowed hard. “I’m sor?—”
“Eva, stop apologizing.”
“I’m sorry.”
I raised an eyebrow, and she scrubbed her face.
“Right.”
“Eva, I want you,” I repeated. Cole and Tristan watched us in silence, their own expressions miserable, as if they were aching for Eva as much as I was.
“But—”
“Can I show you what I want?” I asked her.
She licked her lips, a nervous gesture, then took a shuddering breath. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Baby girl,” I murmured. “Don’t be, please.”
She looked over her shoulder at the men sitting on the couch behind her then straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin, that quintessentially Eva movement that told me she was about to be so fucking brave.
“Yes,” she said, exhaling sharply. “Show me what you want. Please.”
I slipped off the couch and dropped to my knees before her.
“I don’t want you to be with me because you’re grateful,” I said, hoping my face communicated just how fucking serious I was. “I’ve fucked up so many times,” I rasped. “And I don’t deserve you. No, don’t interrupt me.”
I couldn’t read her expression as she waited for me to finish.
“We’ve talked about rules for this apartment, but we haven’t talked about rules for sex or what our relationship looks like going forward.”
Cole dropped to his knees beside me. “Whatever we decide, Eva, I want you to know I’m sorry. So fucking sorry I ever made you feel like anything less than the goddess you are.”
A moment later, Tristan knelt on my other side. He smiled. “You know how I feel about you, kitten.”
Eva pressed her lips together, her eyes roving over the three of us. “I wanted sex, not a relationship talk.”
Cole flinched.
“When you were blackmailing me,” she said, “all three of you, I didn’t have to make decisions. You took away my options, and that was horrible, but when we were having fantastic sex, I could just let go and enjoy it because Ididn’t have a choice. And that was freeing. Is that fucked up?”
“Never,” I growled at my sweet girl.
“That’s what I want,” she said softly. “What I need tonight. To forget.”
