Guess I know which one I am.I ran out the door, saying a quick goodbye to Belinda at light speed, then put my phone on silent and ignored his calls.
Drew could never understand what I’m going through.I feel this heavy responsibility on my shoulders for the employees of the company Ino longer own.
Listening to Anthony and his father talk about Open Leaf over the years, hearing the pride in their voices, it was special.
His mother had been a homemaker all her life.She wasn’t able to contribute after Anthony died.His father had died a few years prior, leaving only me to continue their legacy.
Which I was unable to do.
I thought I had three more months to ensure those who’d worked for Open Leaf, once Ford Books, were taken care of.
Emotional.I let out a huff.
Perhaps I am, but can he blame me?
I know he doesn’t care, but his words cut through my still-healing heart, and I couldn’t stand it.
Doesn’t he understand that his actions will determine if my daughter has anything of her paternal past to see when she grows up?
The one I let collapse.
I place my wine glass on the coffee table and walk down the hall to where Zoe is sleeping soundly in her bed.Sometimes I just stand in her doorway, taking in her innocence.
Her room has pink and cream tones with dozens of dolls on the window seat and an overflowing bookshelf.A soft light and her gentle breathing create an ethereal feel, as if the room is inside a mystical portal where nothing can hurt her.I want to climb into bed with Zoe and disappear from all the adult challenges I’m facing.
In my head, all I hear isI’ve failed her.
I have.
I’ve failed the Ford name I carry.I swear if Anthony hadn’t died in a car accident, I’d be furious at him for leaving me in such a mess.
Why were the books not balanced?
I know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt us, so I assume he had a plan he never shared with me.Not that we talked about business much.After I had Zoe, we kept the boardroom talk to a minimum.
Oh, how she misses her daddy.
She asks about him at least every week, and I make sure to talk about him.I must take her to visit Marsha in the Hamptons one day soon.
Letting out a sigh, I push away from Zoe’s doorway and head back to the living room.My focus now needs to be on keeping this penthouse and a roof over our heads.Sure, we won’t be homeless, but this is where she was born and lived with her father.I don’t want us to lose this home.
Which means I need to swallow my pride and go back to the OCP offices.
Ugh.
To make matters worse, the man I’m directing all my shame and anger is the same one I am horribly attracted to.
Guilt around that is the cherry on top.
The last time I had sex was the night before Anthony died.We had a healthy sex life, making love at least four times a week.Sure, he’d never tied me up or anything erotic, but we played a bit with toys and positions.
That night, I’d had a lovely orgasm, fallen asleep, then Anthony had slipped out early for a meeting.Later that day, two officers showed up to tell me he had been killed in a car accident.
God, the shock and pain was unbearable.
Since then, I’ve been grieving, running the family business, which appeared to not be in the best of financial shape—another surprise—and raising my daughter.Zoe had only been two, but she was still impacted by the loss of her father...and seeing me fall apart.
Where’s daddyis something no mother should have to answer.Over and over and over.
