My heart still aches from the loss.
We were supposed to have more children, travel the world, vacation in Hawaii and one day Switzerland, then retire to the Hamptons and grow old together.
On our wedding day, while saying my vows, I saw an image of us holding hands as we took our last breaths, surrounded by our children and grandchildren.It was the most beautiful, romantic movie...but that’s not how our story ends.
Ended.
Instead, Anthony died in a motor vehicle accident when the brakes of a truck failed and plowed into the side of our Lexus.
They tell me it was quick.
Iknowit was quick, but not in the way they meant.We only had eight short years together.Yes, I’m grateful Anthony didn’t suffer, but I’m still fucking mad he was taken from me.
I collapsed to my knees the day I was told, going into shock and disbelief.Mom took Zoe while my sister, Belinda, stayed with me as I came to grips with what happened.
Oh, it’s an awful process.
I had to identify his body.What a cruel but necessary thing when you’re falling apart.
Zoe and I deserved more time with her dad—we deserved a lifetime with him.That’s what he and I promised one another.
I grieved the love of my life.The man who was supposed to be my life partner, father of my children, and protector was gone.
Now it’s just Zoe and me.
Anthony’s mother survived him, but his father and grandparents are gone.Which meant I had to tell her when I sold Open Leaf.
She was very emotional.
Ford Bookstores, a chain of forty-something bookstores around America, created by Anthony’s father and grandfather in 1978, was rebranded to Open Leaf a decade ago.
Anthony’s father handed over the reins to my husband just before he turned thirty.We had been married for only a year, and while I was five years younger, we had our life planned out.
He’d worked in the business since he was twenty-one and clearly proved to his father that he was ready for the role.
As a newly married couple, the position and financial benefits set us up for life.Two years later, Zoe was born.
I thought my life was perfect.Anthony had proposed at the top of the Empire State Building, sliding a stunning diamond onto my finger, and just before Zoe was born, Anthony had surprised me with the key to our new home.
The penthouse we now live in.
Together we decorated it, including Zoe’s bedroom, while my tummy was swollen.We made love in front of the fireplace and debated baby names for months.
We never found out if she was a boy or a girl, and when she was born, we both cried.
Yes, he traveled a reasonable amount, but I loved how hands-on he was with all the stores.I understood because before Zoe was born, I’d worked for the company for a short period.
I had a degree in marketing, and Anthony said he’d rather I work for the family business than anywhere else.
At the time, Ford Senior was the CEO, so at least I wasn’t reporting directly to my soon-to-be-husband.In truth, I was inexperienced, and it was agreed that I’d leave to focus on our home and family.
We didn’t need the money, after all.
Shame slices through me as I push open Anthony’s office door, and I walk inside.
I’ve let the Ford family down.
Him, his father and grandfather.
